As my $.02 in the Great Kitchen Responsibility Debate, I think that the main issue that we face is one of space. With our tiny, galley-style kitchen, it gets really crowded really quickly, particularly if one of the cooks is all flailing arms and elbows like myself.
Michelle refers to herself as my sous chef, but that's hardly fair. We're more like a baseball pitching rotation, each of us having the night off when the other cooks. While I'm certainly the grillmaster and Michelle is most certainly the pastry chef, there is little rhyme or reason to the distribution of other kitchen labor.
There have been a couple of instances where one of us has been "banished" from the kitchen so that the other can work in peace (usually, if I'm requiring space, it's because I've screwed something up and am trying to fix it).
A single memorable meltdown did occur early on in our married life, but I'll have to check with The Boss before posting it on an open forum.
To be continued (maybe)...
---------
As requested, the Chicken-Mango Curry "recipe" that we brought back from Cayman. The liquid measurements are approximate, since I'm one of those annoying "I just eyeball it" cooks.
3 tbsp butter
1 lb. chicken breast meat
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1/2 tsp. allspice
2 cans coconut milk
2 tbsp. yellow Caribbean curry powder (from the "ethnic" row at the grocery store)
1 ripe mango, cut into chunks
1 cup of mango nectar
1/2 cup of chicken stock
Salt & pepper to taste
Other veggies as desired (add when the onions are added)
Tools:
A big-arse stock pot
Brown the onions and chicken in the butter and allspice. Add 1 tablespoon of the curry powder and coat the chicken. Add the coconut milk, mango nectar, chicken stock and the other tablespoon of curry powder. Bring to a boil and then simmer for as long as humanly possible. The longer it simmers, the better it will be. Add the mango after everything else has simmered for about 10 minutes.
Serve with rice or rice noodles, and garnish with basil or Sriracha hot sauce if you're feeling frisky.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Chef Chandra pleads to be able to keep her post in the kitchen...
As I figured out that Walt was adding to the blog, I wanted to read what he had in the works. As I read, I didn't entirely agree with the way some things were phrased, so we tried (and tried) to collaborate on a way to write what something that we both agreed with...but it, never-the-less, ended up in us both deciding that I should just write a separate response. =)
Clarification #1: Michelle and Amy Lane, by saying that "the kitchen belongs to Rob, Thomas, and me" I meant that (according to the previous posts on the blog and my personal experiences over the past 2 years with R & T) that they (and I) enjoy creating and eating good food. Dear sisters, I KNOW that you guys both do like serving food to your husbands and friends, and that you do like (and are good at) cooking, too! I just said that because I picture Rob and Thomas as particularly enjoying the experience of creating/eating good food, at least prior to being married.
Clarification #2: Walt's right - I don't cook for myself. I feel like cooking anyting for just me to eat is a waste of my time (I'll eat ANYTHING - it doesn't need to be tasty). Earlier this summer, Walt even said, "Dinner is something that you do for me, isn't it?" Yes, it is. If I weren't married, I wouldn't make dinner every day.
Clarifcation #3: I love cooking. I love trying new recipies. I love experimenting. I love creating new tastes. I love planning a 'balanced meal.' I love the experience of having a project that I'm in charge of and seeing it though to the end. I love thinking of how the meals I'm preparing will be a blessing to the recipient(s). Exercise and cooking are my modes of energy-release: not much is more enjoyable to me than to be able to turn on some music or a sermon and spend an entire afternoon cooking a meal that others will later enjoy.
Clarification #4: The reason why I've learned to grill (and do many other things at the house that I used to consider 'Walt's domain') is that he is either too inconvenienced to help me at the time I need it, or I'm too inconvenienced to wait for him to do it. My mantra for as long before we were married as I can remember was, "I can do it", and now with time to be able to think about things more, my mantra is slowly (and unfortunately) manifesting itself in various forms in our marriage. Our particular struggles with sin in this area are evident...
Clarification #5: Have YOU ever tried making custard or game gumbo with Walt? He's a hard man to work with when it comes to "his" foods. =)
Clarification #6: I consider my role to be 'quality control checker' when it comes to the kitchen. If my husband or other people are going to eat it, I want to be in charge enough to make sure it's going to be good.
I'm such a firstborn...
(and just so that it doesn't sound like I'm slandering my husband: Walt had read and agrees with of all of the above) :)
Clarification #1: Michelle and Amy Lane, by saying that "the kitchen belongs to Rob, Thomas, and me" I meant that (according to the previous posts on the blog and my personal experiences over the past 2 years with R & T) that they (and I) enjoy creating and eating good food. Dear sisters, I KNOW that you guys both do like serving food to your husbands and friends, and that you do like (and are good at) cooking, too! I just said that because I picture Rob and Thomas as particularly enjoying the experience of creating/eating good food, at least prior to being married.
Clarification #2: Walt's right - I don't cook for myself. I feel like cooking anyting for just me to eat is a waste of my time (I'll eat ANYTHING - it doesn't need to be tasty). Earlier this summer, Walt even said, "Dinner is something that you do for me, isn't it?" Yes, it is. If I weren't married, I wouldn't make dinner every day.
Clarifcation #3: I love cooking. I love trying new recipies. I love experimenting. I love creating new tastes. I love planning a 'balanced meal.' I love the experience of having a project that I'm in charge of and seeing it though to the end. I love thinking of how the meals I'm preparing will be a blessing to the recipient(s). Exercise and cooking are my modes of energy-release: not much is more enjoyable to me than to be able to turn on some music or a sermon and spend an entire afternoon cooking a meal that others will later enjoy.
Clarification #4: The reason why I've learned to grill (and do many other things at the house that I used to consider 'Walt's domain') is that he is either too inconvenienced to help me at the time I need it, or I'm too inconvenienced to wait for him to do it. My mantra for as long before we were married as I can remember was, "I can do it", and now with time to be able to think about things more, my mantra is slowly (and unfortunately) manifesting itself in various forms in our marriage. Our particular struggles with sin in this area are evident...
Clarification #5: Have YOU ever tried making custard or game gumbo with Walt? He's a hard man to work with when it comes to "his" foods. =)
Clarification #6: I consider my role to be 'quality control checker' when it comes to the kitchen. If my husband or other people are going to eat it, I want to be in charge enough to make sure it's going to be good.
I'm such a firstborn...
(and just so that it doesn't sound like I'm slandering my husband: Walt had read and agrees with of all of the above) :)
Who Sees This?
How public is this blog? Is this Ford sibling- and parent-only blog or something to pass along to friends and broader family as well? It doesn't matter to me. What say you?
Kitchen Commander
Chandra and I had a discussion today that I feel is relevant to this forum. Our brief chat revolved around roles in the kitchen. See, in the home where I grew up Dad always did/does certain cooking tasks and Mom always did/does certain cooking tasks. Dad cooks almost all the fish, anything grilled, and brisket (as we discussed this evening). On the other hand, Mom sticks to chicken, shrimp, and all the other things that aren't on Dad's list.
So, when Chandra told me she was going to make brisket, I naturally thought about how I would need to trim it, prepare it in foil with liquid smoke, cook it while covered, slather it with BBQ sauce, and cook it while uncovered during the 10 hours before dinner Thursday (when I would be at work). Of course, Chandra had planned on taking care of everything on her own and, in fact, did not even want my input or "bossy-ness" in regard to her brisket plans.
So, the question is how do you (other 2.5 of the three) divide/argue about/collaborate in the kitchen while cooking? Chandra made an interesting comment: "The kitchen is for me, Thomas, and Rob." I know Thob (hard "t" sound) does lots of gourmet cooking, but it sounds from previous posts like Thob's spouses do their share, too.
Here's my answer:
Chandra doesn't cook for herself. She cooks for me, guests that she invites to dinner, people at church who need meals, and for just about anyone else she can think of. This is not to say she doesn't enjoy cooking; on the contrary, the cooking is probably one of her favorite parts of having people over. All that to say that when Chandra cooks, she cooks everything on her own. Sometimes I help, but I make too much of a mess for Chandra and don't handle raw meat by her standards. (Last time I helped Ishattered exploded a clear glass bowl on the floor about 45mins before our guests arrived.) As time goes on I think I will end up helping less and less.
On the other end of the spectrum, I cook for myself. I think I have never cooked something that I wasn't excited to eat. This is not to say that I don't enjoy sharing what I make with others. I love to hear that others like what I made, but at the end of the day the cooking was for me. I don't cook very often, but when I do I make a big mess. (Dad Ford's genes, maybe?) Chandra helps some, but I tend to know exactly how I want things done, and after a while my constant supervision (she would call it "bossy-ness") runs her off. As time goes on I think she will end up helping less and less.
So our cooking seems to be getting more and more segregated. She has even started grilling recently...
So, when Chandra told me she was going to make brisket, I naturally thought about how I would need to trim it, prepare it in foil with liquid smoke, cook it while covered, slather it with BBQ sauce, and cook it while uncovered during the 10 hours before dinner Thursday (when I would be at work). Of course, Chandra had planned on taking care of everything on her own and, in fact, did not even want my input or "bossy-ness" in regard to her brisket plans.
So, the question is how do you (other 2.5 of the three) divide/argue about/collaborate in the kitchen while cooking? Chandra made an interesting comment: "The kitchen is for me, Thomas, and Rob." I know Thob (hard "t" sound) does lots of gourmet cooking, but it sounds from previous posts like Thob's spouses do their share, too.
Here's my answer:
Chandra doesn't cook for herself. She cooks for me, guests that she invites to dinner, people at church who need meals, and for just about anyone else she can think of. This is not to say she doesn't enjoy cooking; on the contrary, the cooking is probably one of her favorite parts of having people over. All that to say that when Chandra cooks, she cooks everything on her own. Sometimes I help, but I make too much of a mess for Chandra and don't handle raw meat by her standards. (Last time I helped I
On the other end of the spectrum, I cook for myself. I think I have never cooked something that I wasn't excited to eat. This is not to say that I don't enjoy sharing what I make with others. I love to hear that others like what I made, but at the end of the day the cooking was for me. I don't cook very often, but when I do I make a big mess. (Dad Ford's genes, maybe?) Chandra helps some, but I tend to know exactly how I want things done, and after a while my constant supervision (she would call it "bossy-ness") runs her off. As time goes on I think she will end up helping less and less.
So our cooking seems to be getting more and more segregated. She has even started grilling recently...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Chandra's advice and "thanks!"
Thank you all so much for the special birthday! Michelle, thank you so much for putting those fun pictures up; it means a lot that you went through the trouble to do that - thank you, Michelle! You've also inspired me to put pictures up on the posts more often!
Walt did a great job making me feel special yesterday :) He took time off in the afternoon so that we could go to the zoo, and he also bought me a wide variety of rice to be cooked in our (my) new rice cooker! (many thanks to the Fords for this!)
Rob and Michelle: I'm excited to (finally) try my hand at making a curry dish this week with some jasmine rice; would you mind posting the tasty curry recipe that you guys got while on your honeymoon?
Chandra's Advice
Sorry I'm slow to post on this topic, but my advice to these folks has not as much to do with looking to the future as it does to do with looking at the present.
1) Referencing John Piper's "A Challenge to Women"-
"...That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married."
My number one piece of advice is to live your life to the fullest in the situation you've been placed. It makes me sad to think back on times in my life when I looked forward to/anxiously awaited something so much that I felt like I wasted my days waiting. There were people around me who needed help, and I was too selfish with my own desires to even notice (I think of this specifically as I was anxiously awaiting the ending of my job). When you're single, you have a unique opportunity to be flexible with your time and schedule to bless others...TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS TIME FOR THE KINGDOM!
2) In the words of Pete, "If you have a desire to be married, you most likely will be."
3) Also, to summarize the words of Pete to graduating seniors who didn't know where they'd be going/what they'd be doing after graduation. "Don't worry about 'if it's the Lord's will' - do what you want to do, and know that what you do...whatever it is- is in the Lord's plan."
Even though he was talking about a different life situation, it's just as applicable. Go on dates, if you want, and if the relationship ends after 1 date...then that was in the Lord's plan, and if it develops to marriage...then that was in the Lord's plan. Both the relationships we call "bad" and "good" are under the sovereignty of the One who wants to image Himself forth and draw us to Him. Even if it doesn't "work out", belivers in Christ can trust that there was a reason that it happened.
This all sounds pretty hypocritical coming from someone who is prone to worry, but this was one area of my life that the Lord did graciously bless me in not worrying about. (...maybe that's because I knew I wanted to marry Walt when I first saw him in 2004...hahaha. The Lord definitely gave me 'the desires of my heart' concerning my husband =) )
#11 to the previous topic
11) I never, ever thought I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia...and I just read the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I was pleasantly surprised by how Christ-like the imagery was; this book gave me a new found appreciation for fiction.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Happy Birthday, Chandra!!!
We love you and are so glad you're in our family! You add so much to The Six. :)
You wear fabulous scarves.
You have fabulous taste in weddings.
And you allow small animals to be hung on your walls.
Hope you're having a fabulous day and that the other Elder is spoiling you. ;)
You wear fabulous scarves.
You have fabulous taste in weddings.
And you allow small animals to be hung on your walls.
Hope you're having a fabulous day and that the other Elder is spoiling you. ;)
Quoth the Moron, "Furthermore"
First off, Thomas: It's a Heath Ledger movie, obviously. When I first saw that movie, I thought, "He's got a long future in the business."
I had another "I wasn't counting on this" moment last night. In addition to the previously mentioned differences in Michelle and my diets pre-marriage, there are some other distinctives that went unmentioned: Michelle's disdain for eggs, my craving for smoked meats, and differing approaches to how to prepare veggies.
But the most important difference arose again last night, in my hour of need. I have an intense craving for sweets, at all hours and for any reason. It's good that I work at Billy Reid, because there's a constant supply of super-saccharine sour balls available just inches away from where I am currently typing this entry. Anyway, I really craved some dessert last night, but given our current approach to grocery shopping and Michelle's lack of a sweet tooth, the cupboard was quite bare.
Oh wailing and knashing of teeth! I think I'm going to have to buy some Chips Ahoy! on the way home...
I had another "I wasn't counting on this" moment last night. In addition to the previously mentioned differences in Michelle and my diets pre-marriage, there are some other distinctives that went unmentioned: Michelle's disdain for eggs, my craving for smoked meats, and differing approaches to how to prepare veggies.
But the most important difference arose again last night, in my hour of need. I have an intense craving for sweets, at all hours and for any reason. It's good that I work at Billy Reid, because there's a constant supply of super-saccharine sour balls available just inches away from where I am currently typing this entry. Anyway, I really craved some dessert last night, but given our current approach to grocery shopping and Michelle's lack of a sweet tooth, the cupboard was quite bare.
Oh wailing and knashing of teeth! I think I'm going to have to buy some Chips Ahoy! on the way home...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Pair-o'-docks / My Two Cents
One of the axioms of Hatton-ology is that the Christian life is made up of seemingly contradictory ideas. I doubt anyone who sat under Pete at Baylor would be surprised that my advice would come as a pair of paradoxical precepts. I would give two pieces of advice to my pre-marriage male friends.
(btw, Chandra's hyper-sensitive EQ, not IQ, mind you, is bothered that we are not "waiting for Thomas" with this blog. I'll continue anyways, though. Neither of myQs mind.)
Lead Well: In any boy-girl relationship the boy is going to set the tone of the relationship and be responsible for the tone of the relationship. Even if the boy does nothing he is still leading the relationship; he is just leading poorly. So my first piece of advice to my male friends would be to set a godly tone, take charge of everything, and be deliberate in every aspect of the relationship.
Pursue Hard: I know, I know, my previous piece of advice indicated that the guy should be out in front of the relationship. Well, it turns out he's in the back as well. I've learned with Chandra that a girl needs to be pursued and to feel pursued. This starts with the guy asking her out on the first date and should never stop.
To adjust this advice for a girl I would just counsel her to make sure the guy does these things. Assume nothing about the relationship; make him be deliberate. Force him to pursue you; don't chase him. No matter what side of the gender divide one finds himself, the most important thing for a Christian is to trust and believe that God has more goodness and blessing in store for him in marriage than can be imagined.
(btw, Chandra's hyper-sensitive EQ, not IQ, mind you, is bothered that we are not "waiting for Thomas" with this blog. I'll continue anyways, though. Neither of myQs mind.)
Lead Well: In any boy-girl relationship the boy is going to set the tone of the relationship and be responsible for the tone of the relationship. Even if the boy does nothing he is still leading the relationship; he is just leading poorly. So my first piece of advice to my male friends would be to set a godly tone, take charge of everything, and be deliberate in every aspect of the relationship.
Pursue Hard: I know, I know, my previous piece of advice indicated that the guy should be out in front of the relationship. Well, it turns out he's in the back as well. I've learned with Chandra that a girl needs to be pursued and to feel pursued. This starts with the guy asking her out on the first date and should never stop.
To adjust this advice for a girl I would just counsel her to make sure the guy does these things. Assume nothing about the relationship; make him be deliberate. Force him to pursue you; don't chase him. No matter what side of the gender divide one finds himself, the most important thing for a Christian is to trust and believe that God has more goodness and blessing in store for him in marriage than can be imagined.
Before you say I do...
I would like to give a hearty "hear hear" to Michelle's post. If I had to do dating all over again (and I am thankful every day that I don't) I wish I hadn't thought so much while I dated. I talked to far too many people with too many opinions and worried way too much that this wasn't what God had for me or that I wasn't dating "well." (Thomas and I have since decided that "dating well" is an oxymoron. You can date better or worse but it's pretty frustrating however you do it.) It really is about as simple as Michelle made it sound and I wish I would have chilled out and enjoyed it more.
My other piece of advice that I recently phoned-in to Abby: marry a Redeemer Seminary student. Wives can not only audit, but ENROLL and take whatever classes and earn a degree 100% FREE! Now I don't want to find a job!
I am currently accepting applications from Westminster/Redeemer boys to find husbands for all my college roommates so they can enroll here for free and live closer to me.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Topic 3 - advice to unmarried people
My advice to unmarried people?
1. Find someone that knows God, loves the church, and treats you better than anyone else.
2. Date him. If he stops doing one of those things, break up. Otherwise, marry him ASAP. :)
In other news, I will be serving our judicial system for the next FIVE DAYS.
Also, best HGO production crew T-shirt ever:
"Life is short
Opera is long
But post-Ike
Our lights are still on."
Awesome.
1. Find someone that knows God, loves the church, and treats you better than anyone else.
2. Date him. If he stops doing one of those things, break up. Otherwise, marry him ASAP. :)
In other news, I will be serving our judicial system for the next FIVE DAYS.
Also, best HGO production crew T-shirt ever:
"Life is short
Opera is long
But post-Ike
Our lights are still on."
Awesome.
I Wish That I Knew Then
I'll take up Amy Lane's mantle and dispense advice to the unmarried from the boundless wealth of my five months of wisdom. The following will be significantly colored by the advice that I heard when I was unmarried (and not dating), so if you never received similar advice, please feel free to go play with your enormous dog or the neighbor's kids.
The one thing I always heard over and over while I was single was "find your contentment in Christ first, and then you'll be ready for marriage." Now, lest you think that I'm going off the orthodox rails, I certainly hold contentment to be a life-long spiritual goal, but the thing that always bugged me (and that I've been able to pinpoint more now that I'm married) is the implied quid pro quo of that statement. The additional implication is that desiring to be married is somehow unimportant compared to doing "church stuff" (which was usually suggested as the cleanest path to contentment).
The fact of the matter is that you're never really ready for marriage, in an all-encompassing sense. My contentedness in life and contentedness in Christ really had nothing to do with how ready I was for marrying Michelle, because nothing could've prepared me for that. However, the opposite of the "if-then" has occurred: I'm considerably more content (with my relationship with Christ and in general) than I was before marriage.
Why? Because, to borrow a phrase, it wasn't good that I was alone. Now that I'm not alone, now that I enjoy the constant presence and encouragement that comes with being Michelle's husband. Being married is capital-G Good, Good like things were in the Garden Good, Good like any source of sanctification should be. And I think it would be disingenuous to imply that the desire for that unique Goodness is something less than good sets up an almost Gnostic dynamic, separating our day-to-day existence from the ongoing process of sanctification in a dangerous way.
Finally, the parallel between marriage and Christ's relationship to the Church drive the final stake through this idea. If Christ had waited for the Church to be fully ready and content before sacrificing His life...well, we'd still be waiting.
To wrap this up in practical terms, I think the best advice I'd give to anyone, guy or girl, who's trying to get perspective on marriage from the other side of the fence is to be honest about your desire for marriage. Think about what you want from marriage, and from a spouse, and be open and honest with your friends about your desire to be married. It's been really refreshing to hang out with a particular single friend of ours from church who makes no secret of the fact that she wants to get married sooner rather than later; while it might be easy to write her off as "desperate" or some other disparaging label, I'm proud of her for not playing games about what's she's seeking. Because she's seeking a Good thing.
The one thing I always heard over and over while I was single was "find your contentment in Christ first, and then you'll be ready for marriage." Now, lest you think that I'm going off the orthodox rails, I certainly hold contentment to be a life-long spiritual goal, but the thing that always bugged me (and that I've been able to pinpoint more now that I'm married) is the implied quid pro quo of that statement. The additional implication is that desiring to be married is somehow unimportant compared to doing "church stuff" (which was usually suggested as the cleanest path to contentment).
The fact of the matter is that you're never really ready for marriage, in an all-encompassing sense. My contentedness in life and contentedness in Christ really had nothing to do with how ready I was for marrying Michelle, because nothing could've prepared me for that. However, the opposite of the "if-then" has occurred: I'm considerably more content (with my relationship with Christ and in general) than I was before marriage.
Why? Because, to borrow a phrase, it wasn't good that I was alone. Now that I'm not alone, now that I enjoy the constant presence and encouragement that comes with being Michelle's husband. Being married is capital-G Good, Good like things were in the Garden Good, Good like any source of sanctification should be. And I think it would be disingenuous to imply that the desire for that unique Goodness is something less than good sets up an almost Gnostic dynamic, separating our day-to-day existence from the ongoing process of sanctification in a dangerous way.
Finally, the parallel between marriage and Christ's relationship to the Church drive the final stake through this idea. If Christ had waited for the Church to be fully ready and content before sacrificing His life...well, we'd still be waiting.
To wrap this up in practical terms, I think the best advice I'd give to anyone, guy or girl, who's trying to get perspective on marriage from the other side of the fence is to be honest about your desire for marriage. Think about what you want from marriage, and from a spouse, and be open and honest with your friends about your desire to be married. It's been really refreshing to hang out with a particular single friend of ours from church who makes no secret of the fact that she wants to get married sooner rather than later; while it might be easy to write her off as "desperate" or some other disparaging label, I'm proud of her for not playing games about what's she's seeking. Because she's seeking a Good thing.
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