Trip to Columbia

Not really sure what the deal is with the name "Washington, District of Columbia." It's not as if we say "I'm going to the state of Texas." We just say "I'm going to Texas" (or Tejas if you prefer). So with that said, Amy and I are going to post some pics from our trip to Columbia.

Amy here: On Saturday after the wedding we went to see what we could see at night. This picture was taken by Thomas. We had our backs to the Lincoln Memorial (sorry, Abe) and could see the Capitol, the World War II memorial, the Washington Monument, and the Reflection Pool all in a row. We certainly thought of Granddaddy while we were there. Thank you for serving, Granddaddy, and Happy Veterans' Day!

We also saw the Vietnam Memorial and the Korean War Memorial (my favorite, and especially striking at night with the men's faces lit up.)

Thomas: Look at Amy. Isn't she beautiful. The Washington Monument also happens to be behind her.

Thomas: Amy again, with Abraham Lincoln. One way that Amy and I are different is that she is good at reading the quotes at places like this or reading placards at museums. I don't often read the whole thing. She's patient and takes them in.

Thomas: After seeing the monuments we saw the three branches of government, or at least their housing. We did this in the most American way possible, driving a gas sucking car. After seeing the Capitol and a corner of the Supreme Court, we parked at the White House because I wanted to get close. They've got the White House Christmas tree up and were setting up all of the fences for whatever lighting ceremony they're going to have.

Thomas: After getting up close to the White House, 8:45 rolled around and it was time...

Amy: to eat dinner. But we didn't want to eat dinner with just anybody (like the president or Justice Ginsburg.) We wanted to eat with Jenny Oliver. So we called to see if she had eaten. And of course she hadn't because she's teaching herself French and had been busy studying. So we met her at...

Thomas: Ben's Chili Bowl! As you see in the picture above it isn't actually a bowl. Rather, it's a dive of dives on U Street. Ben's has been around for fifty years and is a major institution for the African-American community. Every famous black person, it seemed, has been there, and ol' Ben has their photo on the wall to prove it, from Bill Cosby to Cornell West and James Brown. Ben's really brought out the soul in me, and I had a "half smoke" (big nicely burnt chili dog with onions and mustard). Amy had a chili dog, and we split some chili cheese fries. Sensing my soul, they even threw in some extra grease for free. Ben's hit the spot.

Amy: Yum! Jenny took me here last time I was in DC and while we were there we talked about how fun it would be to bring Thomas there. I had no idea the three of us would be there together that same year!

Amy: As always, it was wonderful to catch up with Jenny. She's as busy as ever but doing well!

Thomas: Ok, now it's time for me to brag. Ben's is in a really hoppin' part of town. Not only was there bumper-to-bumper traffic on U Street at midnight, but all the other streets around it are tightly packed row houses. The cars along the streets are dense, so we had to drive around for about 10 minutes to find a spot that looked as if it would be a tight fit...for Rob's Mini! A tight fit it was, but I pulled off the parallel parking job of the century in our Subaru Impreza (we're not too far into the present century). Impreza'd you should be when you look at these pics. Be sure to click on them so that they open larger in their own window. Notice how close we were in both the back and the front, so close I couldn't even walk between our car and the others.

Back - yes, there is space between our car and the other

Front

Sorry if this post is long, but we've got some more pics that we'll post later.

Amy: One thing more. Happy Belated Birthday to the fifteen-year-old Bailey! I'm guessing her last birthday party was not Barney themed like the first, but fun nonetheless.

The Greatest Generation

This past Wednesday was Veterans Day. Since this is a day when we thank and celebrate our veterans, I called the greatest veteran I know—Granddaddy. Here is the tail end of our conversation, as best I can remember:

me: Well, happy Veterans Day! Thanks for fighting and keeping us free.
him: It was an honor to serve. We just did what we had to do.

I have heard those same words from many interviews and conversations with men and women of that generation. If you ask them, you will, too. I cannot even begin to express the respect and gratitude that I have for them. For that generation sacrificing plans, relationships, comforts, and even life was just “something they had to do”.

There are a couple of items that I think do a good job of highlighting the spirit these men and women had. The first is the Medal of Honor Citations awarded during World War II. Most of these citations read like a dry textualization of a scene from Rambo. The second is the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers. Band of Brothers is not for everyone, but it is a phenomenal portrayal of extraordinary valor and courage from that generation of Americans.

As the holidays loom, just take a minute to pray for those who are currently fighting and to praise God for his grace in raising up a whole generation who fought and sacrificed to preserve our freedom.

In Defense of Dates

At my old church, the former youth pastor had a startling yet endearing habit of somtimes referring to his wife as his girlfriend. It emphasized their ongoing romance, but also made for some feet shuffling awkwardness, as when he would introduce the whole family as "my girlfriend and our kids." That sort of humor might play well in Manhattan, but in Katy, he might as well have grown a second head.

That said, it was a stated goal of mine to continue dating Michelle after we got married, that in some sense she would always be my girlfriend as well as my covenant spouse. What this looks like is multi-faceted; it involves pursuing her emotionally, and (as I discovered this week) being deliberate about making time for just the two of us.

Despite my lofty ambitions, I found that we had settled into something of a rut, staying in on the nights when we didn't have some out of the house event taking up our time. We'd find ourselves eating at the coffee table, leaned over my laptop, watching French subtitled episodes of How I Met Your Mother. I know: the sheer romance of this tableau may be making you a little queasy. Put your head between your legs and the feeling will pass.

So, how to restore the oft-hoped, rarely acheived ideal? If I'm going to love my wife the way that Christ loves His Church, then I need to start thinking in a Christ-like way. Normally for me, this means focusing on self-sacrifice and putting Michelle's needs ahead of my own. But in this instance, what I needed to focus on is His unending pursuit of His Bride. Grace chases us down and amazes us in the ways that it provides for our needs, brings healing, and ultimately inspires worship. Similarly, I need to be chasing Michelle down. (Note: not in the Mini. That would be unfair)

We're going on a date tonight. Out of the house, dressed up, with wine and everything. The plans are actually a little nebulous at the moment, owing to an unforseen scheduling snafu, but whatever we do, it's going to be fun and deliberate, an application of Grace to a relationship that needs it constantly and doggedly. I don't bring any of this up to pat myself on the back for being such a great husband (if anything, I've been a neglectful one for quite a while) , but to see what the other dudes are doing to keep their wives feeling special and pursued. You know, like when she was your girlfriend.

Birthdays!

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAUREN!!!!

Lauren was our original 4th sibling, a Ford by loving adoption, rather than birth. Our time together now is always too short, but I can't wait to have her back for a whole month (!!) in December.

In other news, my nephew is turning 2 this month and Uncle Rob and I will be attending his fabulous birthday party. Joshua is brilliant (just like his mother and father and uncles) but I'm quite sure he doesn't read this blog yet. So, my question is - if you had a 2-year-old nephew (and none of you do!) what would you give him?

This seems like a trivial question at first, but Rob and I actually talk about it quite a bit. These are the first kids that God has put in our lives to stay foreverrrrrr. Wow. When I think about it in terms of my side of the family, I think about what we'll be able to invest in each others' kids that the kids' parents won't. For example, I'll be sending my son to Walt's house for a week every season to learn to hunt (not kidding. :). And how cool would it be to send my daughter to intern in Amy and Thomas's church one summer? After a week in the wild with Walt, and a summer with fabulous Aunt Amy, they'll think I'm the lamest mother alive but that's so awesome. The Fords and the Warmaths will offer them another version of a godly household, a different example of a godly marriage, and a way of viewing God's world and gifts that's different than mine and Rob's. That is so awesome and extremely valuable. in the effort to raise non-cookie-cutter children, but godly unique children.

This is all a little (ok, a lot) early, but I thought y'all wouldn't mind the advance notice of your heavy responsibilities. :)

Preliminary Pictures

Here are some preliminary results from the Ford-Hays-Warmath as Hays-Warmath-Ford Halloween Reformation Day party.

First as Martin and Katharina:






Then as each other:

In Honor of the Last Ancient Church History Class

I would like to share my favorite Dr. Hannah quote of the semester and some of what T and I gleaned from the course. Auditing the class was worth our drive-home discussions alone! When I told Dad I would be going to class with Thomas he described it as a way to have "good inputs" for our conversations together. Lisa McG described it as "glue" for our young marriage. They were both right.

So here's the quote that stuck with me the most:

"My wife and I used to have arguments until we found out that was socially unacceptable. So now we have discussions." :)

In a more serious vein, some other things that struck me:

Christians are "Trophies of Grace, not Perfect People."

One evening Hannah went off on a tangent about Scripture reading/quiet times. Thomas and I were both encouraged and convicted. Dr. Hannah compared our mind to a sieve and the Bible to water saying, "If you constantly pour water through a sieve, it won't collect dirt." And later, "We read the Bible not to learn, but to be in the presence of God...Don't worry about learning it; it will conquer you."

He encouraged the seminarians to always be reading three things:

1. The Bible

2. A Confession (I think his favorite is the Heidelberg)

3."The great hymnology of the church" aka learn the hymns, boys. We always sang a hymn at the beginning of each class. All the verses, of course.

And in honor of the Luther party this weekend...

"We love Luther because he is foolish...with commitment. You don't cross him."

My favorite thing about Dr. Hannah's class was how he viewed and explained the Church, especially all the different denominations of Protestantism. He was pretty mild as he explained that there are a lot of unclears in Scripture. He used baptism as an example and showed how you can take texts and argue for any side (which he did). So you try to group some together and make decisions on these types of things with as much consistency throughout Scripture as possible, but there will always be texts that work for the other side. So at the end of the day, most of us just "dance with the old gal who brought us" and settle on a tradition. It was wonderful to know that all these seminarians were hearing a mild view from a godly man.

He also shared some beautiful pastoral asides. He told the class more than once that at least 60% of what they learn in seminary they will never use in preaching or counseling. In fact, they will never share it with their congregations at all. Instead, it is a foundation and a stronghold to which they can retreat when they are poured out to emptiness. It is to convince them of the truth so they will be unshakeable. It is to comfort them so they can keep ministering when they have nothing to give. He sounded like such a kind, seasoned shepherd of the men in his class as he shared that.

And finally, he also taught them that no matter what theology you hold, there will be times when you are called to comfort someone instead of correct their theology. His example had to do with parenting. He has several daughters and they always had plenty of pets (sound like any family we know?) In an attempt to teach his children about reality and a fallen world, whenever the animals died they were buried in the back yard. Well, one day they got home and the rabbit was dead. "He was already stiff as a board." So, he went out to the back yard, dug a hole, and "tossed that sucker straight up into the air. It landed smack in the middle of the hole and I was about to start packing on the dirt" when his very young daughter came running into the yard with tears streaming down her face. "Daddy, can we pray that his soul will be with Jesus?" Thankfully, Dr. Hannah decided this was not the time to discuss theology and so they knelt in the yard and prayed for the rabbit's soul to be with Jesus. I think all men who have extra-strong convictions and beliefs should have daughters so they can never take themselves too seriously.

Speaking of kids, Annalise and Noah are coming over tonight to trick-or-treat since we'll be out of town this weekend. I believe Annalise will be wearing her flower girl dress with fairy wings :) Maybe we should get out our matching cheerleader costumes, Michelle!

Takin' care of business

To our many faithful readers - please excuse us, as we use this post to take care of some unfinished business.

First, Halloween costumes.
OK, here is the official costume ruling:

• Hayseses dress as Warmaths
• Warmaths dress as Fords
• Fords dress as Hays

So bring your best overstated outfits and props for the Sibling Party this Saturday night at the Home of the Eldests. Remember to wear your thick skin and don't be too scary - we're handing out candy to kids, after all. The rest of you - stay tuned for the funniest picture of the 6 of us that you've seen in awhile. (This will definitely be one for your desk at work, Daddy.)

Secondly, Christmas gifts.
The wives have decided that gifts for the 6 siblings and 2 parents should fall in 1 of 2 categories. I will provide examples of each-

• homemade gifts - Michelle could give baked goods; Chandra - sewn goods; Amy - cuddling handbook; Rob - mixed CD; Thomas - Hebrew flashcards; Walt - a YouTube movie called "Hunting for Dummies"
  
• gifts under $10 - not to give too many hints, but the Hayseses have found books, CDs, and small clothing accent pieces online for under $10. (You have to use your best sneaky online sales knowledge, or married someone that has this!)

Thirdly, Holiday calendar.
Please see the super duper secret forum.

That's all I've got. Please let me know if I'm forgetting something. Glad we're all organized now. :)

Truths we share

My husband and I share a lot of things. But the things we most love to share are not coffee, books, meals, or even our bed - it's truths.

Rob and I first read about shared truths early on in our dating relationship when reading "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis. Lewis points out that friendships spark when two people see a common truth - a shared love of grammar, the truth about God, a common problem or dislike. This blog, in fact, is built around a shared truth that has captivated our hearts and bound us together - the discovery and delight of early marriage.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis (Four Loves)

Sometimes I tell people that Rob and I are almost the same person. That's really not true at all; we're actually very different in lots of important ways (he's an extravert, I'm a recently-discovered introvert, we "recharge" and relax in different ways, etc.) What I really mean is that we share so many truths about life. We see beauty in the same obscure things and find joy in the same places. This makes for a truly meaningful friendship because it gives us many strong ties in lots of areas of our lives - which makes for an even more delightful marriage.

Three truths Rob sees and enjoys sharing with others are his love of Houston, his appreciation of good writing, and his delight in me (yay!). :) He shares all three of these with the readers of The Curator magazine in his article you can read here.

FYI - he would want you to know that the title is not his. :)

In honor of Ann

When Amy and I have children someday, they will know English grammar. If they don't admire the order it brings to our written language, they will at least know how to avoid syntactical anarchy. I'm enthusiastic about the usefulness of grammar as a result of writing philosophical papers and studying dead languages, from punctuation to noun-pronoun agreement. I'm also cognizant of the proper use of English grammar. Amy also knows the wonder of grammar. From what I've been able to tell, I should thank Ann for this. I've heard that Ann always pointed out missing commas and apostrophes on everything from signs and advertisements to cakes. Therefore, in honor of Ann I quote and link an article about the Apostrophe Protection Society.

"This is why Truss started the Apostrophe Preservation Society. In her rather militant way, she pickets businesses that have apostrophe errors in their signage. Off she goes with a great big apostrophe on a stick and marches around in front until the business owner is shamed into correcting his punctuation."

-Thomas

(Hopefully I don't have any grammatical errors in this post. If so, take them as irony.)

Now that the weddings are over

Here is a slide show pertaining to an article entitled "Cakes Gone Wrong." It's about a blog and book on cake wrecks. Good thing we didn't make it.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/10/13/dining/20091014-CAKE_index.html

-Thomas

A Place to Talk

I think that many of these posts could generate some good follow-on discussion, but the little comment fields don't really do a good job of facilitating that. Don't worry, though. I had an idea, and now I have a solution! (I am an engineer, after all.)

The Fordweb Forum!

The fordweb forum is a place where anyone can talk about topics brought up on this blog and other family-related topics. I encourage all of our readership to click over there, create a username, and let us know what you think. I have some private forums set up for blog authors and family members, too.

It's no big deal if y'all aren't excited about it. It is more of a project for me to work on than anything, but I do think it could be a useful and fun tool. So tell me what you think. (The easiest way to tell me that is by signing up on the forum and posting.)

Temptation Springs

So now that I have a real job again, the tug of my formerly profligate lifestyle beckons anew. After proudly proclaiming our ability to live on just pennies a month, we'll soon find ourselves possessing dollars again. What of our frugality? Are we still going to shop at Fiesta? Are we still going to eat at home?

Yes. And more often than not, yes.

It's hard for me, as a supposedly cosmopolitan gourmet, to admit it, but I haven't missed eating out as much as I thought I would. Long ago I promised Michelle a meal at Feast (Houston's ode to things otherwise considered inedible) to celebrate when I return to the land of the gainfully employed, and I fully intend to deliver on that promise, as soon as this weekend perhaps. But does this mean that I'll also be haunting Gravitas with my former frequency, and indulging in pricey lunches during my work day?

No. And only if it's on the company dime.

These first six months have taught me many lessons, chief among them that what I need for happiness and contentment in marriage has nothing to do with the contents of our bank account or our dinner plates. A loving, supportive wife is a gift of God, not lightly given. I'm rejoicing in the wife of my youth, and her Proverbs 31-esque management of our tiny household. No truffled delicacy could ever compare.