Merry Christmas, Poor Walt didn't get any pigs

It's beginning to look a lot like...home

Following in the footsteps of everyone else, this will be a team blog post from Team Hays.

R: One of the hardest things in the world is surprising Michelle. I was absolutely dumbfounded that I was able to sneak my marriage proposal past her notice in the weeks before the event. Any time that I can surprise her, it's a huge moral victory for me. So when I bought Michelle a Christmas "tree" (complete with ornaments) last weekend without her finding out, I think I actually did a little dance. It's not really a tree, of course: we don't have room for some towering fir in our apartment, nor would a five dollar set of ornaments suffice to cover its surface. Instead of an evergreen, we have a potted rosemary plant, surely a more utilitarian solution in the long run, and just the right size:
(yes, we already had the green table.)

M: Wow, look at those presents under the tree! And it's only December 4! (If your name isn't Peyton, Joshua, Lyla or Walt then you better hope that we've thought of something to get you for Christmas. :) Just kidding.)

I walked into the apartment, exclaimed "oh, a Christmas tree!!!" then Rob said, "and we can cook with it!" At first it seemed a little masochistic (Rob spelled that - I like to give props where due), but I guess it's not much worse than watching it slowly rot in the backyard for a few months and then dragging it to the curb. And it's fun to see how one object can delight people in 2 different ways.

Speaking of my chef husband, Rob made a fabulous dinner tonight of sweet potato gnocchi (that's homemade pasta for you at home) and steak (on a huge sale at Kroger). Here he is in his element -

If it looks like pasta-making and steak preparing uses every dish in the kitchen that's because it definitely does. But it was well, well worth it, right dear?

R: Thanks to some Advil and the rejuvenatory effects of red meat, my back no longer hurts like it did, so I concur that it was worth it. Making pasta from scratch (even a potato-based one, which is kinda cheating) was a little terrifying, and things were so busy in our tiny kitchen that I didn't have time to sample the merchandise before I put it on the table. In my mind, there was a very distinct possibility that I had made mutant dumplings unfit for human consumption and served them to my unwitting and otherwise encouraging spouse.

Fortunately, they were rather good.

In related cooking/family news, Michelle was sidelined for part of this week with a debilitating head cold. Giving the plunging temperatures outside, it was unquestionably soup weather. Here, I'll share the recipe (adapted from an Emeril one on FoodNetwork.com based on the ingredients we had available):

* 2 tablespoons olive oil
* 1 cup chopped onions
* 2 teaspoons chopped garlic
* 1 poblano pepper, seeded and chopped
* 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and chopped
* 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
* 1 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
* 1 tablespoon tomato paste
* 6 cups chicken stock or canned, low-sodium chicken broth
* 1 pound cooked chicken, shredded
* 1 can black beans, drained
* 2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
* 6 corn tortillas, cut into 1/4-inch-thick strips
* Vegetable oil, for frying
* 1 avocado, peeled, seeded, and chopped

In a Dutch oven, heat the oil on medium-high heat. Add the onions, garlic, peppers, salt, cumin, and coriander for 5 minutes. Add the tomato paste and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the chicken stock and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 20 minutes. Add the chicken and black beans and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the lime juice, and stir well. Remove from the heat and cover to keep warm.

Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the tortilla strips in batches and fry until golden and crisp, 1 1/2 to 2 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.

Serve soup with tortilla strips, cheese, and avocado.

M: Yum! All my co-workers were jealous when I took leftovers for lunch on Wednesday.

So today, it snowed in Houston!! Not just a few sprinkles but an actual heavy downfall in downtown/Heights from about 11am to 3pm. It made me miss Bloomington dreadfully, but I got out of work at 12:30 and Rob got home about 3:00 so that was a nice start to our weekend! As a jaded "I-lived-in-snow-last-winter" person, I was surprised that companies and schools were shutting down early. But we don't have the number of street salters that old Bloomy does, so it's understandable.

One of our neighbors built a snowman near the entrance to our apartment complex:

And that was with the snow BEFORE 12:30. There was lots more later.

Well, now I'm reflecting on Rob's title of this blog post: home. It's funny because it's my impression that if you put food in the fridge, hang one picture, and buy a throw pillow, boys think it's quite "homey" and decorated. :) Rob has great taste though, and what always surprises me is how encouraging he is to me in my first attempts at homemaking and how must delight and pride he takes in our first home together. The apartment is a beautiful representation of two lives coming together - and I often remind myself that in 20 years, this won't be the case. Everything we'll have in 20 years will probably be stuff WE received at our wedding or furniture we bought as a couple. But how fun to look around now and physically see our messy, separate, eclectic lives combining to make a home; it's a cool picture of what's happening in our marriage, too, I think.

Trip to Columbia

Not really sure what the deal is with the name "Washington, District of Columbia." It's not as if we say "I'm going to the state of Texas." We just say "I'm going to Texas" (or Tejas if you prefer). So with that said, Amy and I are going to post some pics from our trip to Columbia.

Amy here: On Saturday after the wedding we went to see what we could see at night. This picture was taken by Thomas. We had our backs to the Lincoln Memorial (sorry, Abe) and could see the Capitol, the World War II memorial, the Washington Monument, and the Reflection Pool all in a row. We certainly thought of Granddaddy while we were there. Thank you for serving, Granddaddy, and Happy Veterans' Day!

We also saw the Vietnam Memorial and the Korean War Memorial (my favorite, and especially striking at night with the men's faces lit up.)

Thomas: Look at Amy. Isn't she beautiful. The Washington Monument also happens to be behind her.

Thomas: Amy again, with Abraham Lincoln. One way that Amy and I are different is that she is good at reading the quotes at places like this or reading placards at museums. I don't often read the whole thing. She's patient and takes them in.

Thomas: After seeing the monuments we saw the three branches of government, or at least their housing. We did this in the most American way possible, driving a gas sucking car. After seeing the Capitol and a corner of the Supreme Court, we parked at the White House because I wanted to get close. They've got the White House Christmas tree up and were setting up all of the fences for whatever lighting ceremony they're going to have.

Thomas: After getting up close to the White House, 8:45 rolled around and it was time...

Amy: to eat dinner. But we didn't want to eat dinner with just anybody (like the president or Justice Ginsburg.) We wanted to eat with Jenny Oliver. So we called to see if she had eaten. And of course she hadn't because she's teaching herself French and had been busy studying. So we met her at...

Thomas: Ben's Chili Bowl! As you see in the picture above it isn't actually a bowl. Rather, it's a dive of dives on U Street. Ben's has been around for fifty years and is a major institution for the African-American community. Every famous black person, it seemed, has been there, and ol' Ben has their photo on the wall to prove it, from Bill Cosby to Cornell West and James Brown. Ben's really brought out the soul in me, and I had a "half smoke" (big nicely burnt chili dog with onions and mustard). Amy had a chili dog, and we split some chili cheese fries. Sensing my soul, they even threw in some extra grease for free. Ben's hit the spot.

Amy: Yum! Jenny took me here last time I was in DC and while we were there we talked about how fun it would be to bring Thomas there. I had no idea the three of us would be there together that same year!

Amy: As always, it was wonderful to catch up with Jenny. She's as busy as ever but doing well!

Thomas: Ok, now it's time for me to brag. Ben's is in a really hoppin' part of town. Not only was there bumper-to-bumper traffic on U Street at midnight, but all the other streets around it are tightly packed row houses. The cars along the streets are dense, so we had to drive around for about 10 minutes to find a spot that looked as if it would be a tight fit...for Rob's Mini! A tight fit it was, but I pulled off the parallel parking job of the century in our Subaru Impreza (we're not too far into the present century). Impreza'd you should be when you look at these pics. Be sure to click on them so that they open larger in their own window. Notice how close we were in both the back and the front, so close I couldn't even walk between our car and the others.

Back - yes, there is space between our car and the other

Front

Sorry if this post is long, but we've got some more pics that we'll post later.

Amy: One thing more. Happy Belated Birthday to the fifteen-year-old Bailey! I'm guessing her last birthday party was not Barney themed like the first, but fun nonetheless.

The Greatest Generation

This past Wednesday was Veterans Day. Since this is a day when we thank and celebrate our veterans, I called the greatest veteran I know—Granddaddy. Here is the tail end of our conversation, as best I can remember:

me: Well, happy Veterans Day! Thanks for fighting and keeping us free.
him: It was an honor to serve. We just did what we had to do.

I have heard those same words from many interviews and conversations with men and women of that generation. If you ask them, you will, too. I cannot even begin to express the respect and gratitude that I have for them. For that generation sacrificing plans, relationships, comforts, and even life was just “something they had to do”.

There are a couple of items that I think do a good job of highlighting the spirit these men and women had. The first is the Medal of Honor Citations awarded during World War II. Most of these citations read like a dry textualization of a scene from Rambo. The second is the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers. Band of Brothers is not for everyone, but it is a phenomenal portrayal of extraordinary valor and courage from that generation of Americans.

As the holidays loom, just take a minute to pray for those who are currently fighting and to praise God for his grace in raising up a whole generation who fought and sacrificed to preserve our freedom.

In Defense of Dates

At my old church, the former youth pastor had a startling yet endearing habit of somtimes referring to his wife as his girlfriend. It emphasized their ongoing romance, but also made for some feet shuffling awkwardness, as when he would introduce the whole family as "my girlfriend and our kids." That sort of humor might play well in Manhattan, but in Katy, he might as well have grown a second head.

That said, it was a stated goal of mine to continue dating Michelle after we got married, that in some sense she would always be my girlfriend as well as my covenant spouse. What this looks like is multi-faceted; it involves pursuing her emotionally, and (as I discovered this week) being deliberate about making time for just the two of us.

Despite my lofty ambitions, I found that we had settled into something of a rut, staying in on the nights when we didn't have some out of the house event taking up our time. We'd find ourselves eating at the coffee table, leaned over my laptop, watching French subtitled episodes of How I Met Your Mother. I know: the sheer romance of this tableau may be making you a little queasy. Put your head between your legs and the feeling will pass.

So, how to restore the oft-hoped, rarely acheived ideal? If I'm going to love my wife the way that Christ loves His Church, then I need to start thinking in a Christ-like way. Normally for me, this means focusing on self-sacrifice and putting Michelle's needs ahead of my own. But in this instance, what I needed to focus on is His unending pursuit of His Bride. Grace chases us down and amazes us in the ways that it provides for our needs, brings healing, and ultimately inspires worship. Similarly, I need to be chasing Michelle down. (Note: not in the Mini. That would be unfair)

We're going on a date tonight. Out of the house, dressed up, with wine and everything. The plans are actually a little nebulous at the moment, owing to an unforseen scheduling snafu, but whatever we do, it's going to be fun and deliberate, an application of Grace to a relationship that needs it constantly and doggedly. I don't bring any of this up to pat myself on the back for being such a great husband (if anything, I've been a neglectful one for quite a while) , but to see what the other dudes are doing to keep their wives feeling special and pursued. You know, like when she was your girlfriend.

Birthdays!

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LAUREN!!!!

Lauren was our original 4th sibling, a Ford by loving adoption, rather than birth. Our time together now is always too short, but I can't wait to have her back for a whole month (!!) in December.

In other news, my nephew is turning 2 this month and Uncle Rob and I will be attending his fabulous birthday party. Joshua is brilliant (just like his mother and father and uncles) but I'm quite sure he doesn't read this blog yet. So, my question is - if you had a 2-year-old nephew (and none of you do!) what would you give him?

This seems like a trivial question at first, but Rob and I actually talk about it quite a bit. These are the first kids that God has put in our lives to stay foreverrrrrr. Wow. When I think about it in terms of my side of the family, I think about what we'll be able to invest in each others' kids that the kids' parents won't. For example, I'll be sending my son to Walt's house for a week every season to learn to hunt (not kidding. :). And how cool would it be to send my daughter to intern in Amy and Thomas's church one summer? After a week in the wild with Walt, and a summer with fabulous Aunt Amy, they'll think I'm the lamest mother alive but that's so awesome. The Fords and the Warmaths will offer them another version of a godly household, a different example of a godly marriage, and a way of viewing God's world and gifts that's different than mine and Rob's. That is so awesome and extremely valuable. in the effort to raise non-cookie-cutter children, but godly unique children.

This is all a little (ok, a lot) early, but I thought y'all wouldn't mind the advance notice of your heavy responsibilities. :)

Preliminary Pictures

Here are some preliminary results from the Ford-Hays-Warmath as Hays-Warmath-Ford Halloween Reformation Day party.

First as Martin and Katharina:






Then as each other:

In Honor of the Last Ancient Church History Class

I would like to share my favorite Dr. Hannah quote of the semester and some of what T and I gleaned from the course. Auditing the class was worth our drive-home discussions alone! When I told Dad I would be going to class with Thomas he described it as a way to have "good inputs" for our conversations together. Lisa McG described it as "glue" for our young marriage. They were both right.

So here's the quote that stuck with me the most:

"My wife and I used to have arguments until we found out that was socially unacceptable. So now we have discussions." :)

In a more serious vein, some other things that struck me:

Christians are "Trophies of Grace, not Perfect People."

One evening Hannah went off on a tangent about Scripture reading/quiet times. Thomas and I were both encouraged and convicted. Dr. Hannah compared our mind to a sieve and the Bible to water saying, "If you constantly pour water through a sieve, it won't collect dirt." And later, "We read the Bible not to learn, but to be in the presence of God...Don't worry about learning it; it will conquer you."

He encouraged the seminarians to always be reading three things:

1. The Bible

2. A Confession (I think his favorite is the Heidelberg)

3."The great hymnology of the church" aka learn the hymns, boys. We always sang a hymn at the beginning of each class. All the verses, of course.

And in honor of the Luther party this weekend...

"We love Luther because he is foolish...with commitment. You don't cross him."

My favorite thing about Dr. Hannah's class was how he viewed and explained the Church, especially all the different denominations of Protestantism. He was pretty mild as he explained that there are a lot of unclears in Scripture. He used baptism as an example and showed how you can take texts and argue for any side (which he did). So you try to group some together and make decisions on these types of things with as much consistency throughout Scripture as possible, but there will always be texts that work for the other side. So at the end of the day, most of us just "dance with the old gal who brought us" and settle on a tradition. It was wonderful to know that all these seminarians were hearing a mild view from a godly man.

He also shared some beautiful pastoral asides. He told the class more than once that at least 60% of what they learn in seminary they will never use in preaching or counseling. In fact, they will never share it with their congregations at all. Instead, it is a foundation and a stronghold to which they can retreat when they are poured out to emptiness. It is to convince them of the truth so they will be unshakeable. It is to comfort them so they can keep ministering when they have nothing to give. He sounded like such a kind, seasoned shepherd of the men in his class as he shared that.

And finally, he also taught them that no matter what theology you hold, there will be times when you are called to comfort someone instead of correct their theology. His example had to do with parenting. He has several daughters and they always had plenty of pets (sound like any family we know?) In an attempt to teach his children about reality and a fallen world, whenever the animals died they were buried in the back yard. Well, one day they got home and the rabbit was dead. "He was already stiff as a board." So, he went out to the back yard, dug a hole, and "tossed that sucker straight up into the air. It landed smack in the middle of the hole and I was about to start packing on the dirt" when his very young daughter came running into the yard with tears streaming down her face. "Daddy, can we pray that his soul will be with Jesus?" Thankfully, Dr. Hannah decided this was not the time to discuss theology and so they knelt in the yard and prayed for the rabbit's soul to be with Jesus. I think all men who have extra-strong convictions and beliefs should have daughters so they can never take themselves too seriously.

Speaking of kids, Annalise and Noah are coming over tonight to trick-or-treat since we'll be out of town this weekend. I believe Annalise will be wearing her flower girl dress with fairy wings :) Maybe we should get out our matching cheerleader costumes, Michelle!

Takin' care of business

To our many faithful readers - please excuse us, as we use this post to take care of some unfinished business.

First, Halloween costumes.
OK, here is the official costume ruling:

• Hayseses dress as Warmaths
• Warmaths dress as Fords
• Fords dress as Hays

So bring your best overstated outfits and props for the Sibling Party this Saturday night at the Home of the Eldests. Remember to wear your thick skin and don't be too scary - we're handing out candy to kids, after all. The rest of you - stay tuned for the funniest picture of the 6 of us that you've seen in awhile. (This will definitely be one for your desk at work, Daddy.)

Secondly, Christmas gifts.
The wives have decided that gifts for the 6 siblings and 2 parents should fall in 1 of 2 categories. I will provide examples of each-

• homemade gifts - Michelle could give baked goods; Chandra - sewn goods; Amy - cuddling handbook; Rob - mixed CD; Thomas - Hebrew flashcards; Walt - a YouTube movie called "Hunting for Dummies"
  
• gifts under $10 - not to give too many hints, but the Hayseses have found books, CDs, and small clothing accent pieces online for under $10. (You have to use your best sneaky online sales knowledge, or married someone that has this!)

Thirdly, Holiday calendar.
Please see the super duper secret forum.

That's all I've got. Please let me know if I'm forgetting something. Glad we're all organized now. :)

Truths we share

My husband and I share a lot of things. But the things we most love to share are not coffee, books, meals, or even our bed - it's truths.

Rob and I first read about shared truths early on in our dating relationship when reading "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis. Lewis points out that friendships spark when two people see a common truth - a shared love of grammar, the truth about God, a common problem or dislike. This blog, in fact, is built around a shared truth that has captivated our hearts and bound us together - the discovery and delight of early marriage.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." - C.S. Lewis (Four Loves)

Sometimes I tell people that Rob and I are almost the same person. That's really not true at all; we're actually very different in lots of important ways (he's an extravert, I'm a recently-discovered introvert, we "recharge" and relax in different ways, etc.) What I really mean is that we share so many truths about life. We see beauty in the same obscure things and find joy in the same places. This makes for a truly meaningful friendship because it gives us many strong ties in lots of areas of our lives - which makes for an even more delightful marriage.

Three truths Rob sees and enjoys sharing with others are his love of Houston, his appreciation of good writing, and his delight in me (yay!). :) He shares all three of these with the readers of The Curator magazine in his article you can read here.

FYI - he would want you to know that the title is not his. :)

In honor of Ann

When Amy and I have children someday, they will know English grammar. If they don't admire the order it brings to our written language, they will at least know how to avoid syntactical anarchy. I'm enthusiastic about the usefulness of grammar as a result of writing philosophical papers and studying dead languages, from punctuation to noun-pronoun agreement. I'm also cognizant of the proper use of English grammar. Amy also knows the wonder of grammar. From what I've been able to tell, I should thank Ann for this. I've heard that Ann always pointed out missing commas and apostrophes on everything from signs and advertisements to cakes. Therefore, in honor of Ann I quote and link an article about the Apostrophe Protection Society.

"This is why Truss started the Apostrophe Preservation Society. In her rather militant way, she pickets businesses that have apostrophe errors in their signage. Off she goes with a great big apostrophe on a stick and marches around in front until the business owner is shamed into correcting his punctuation."

-Thomas

(Hopefully I don't have any grammatical errors in this post. If so, take them as irony.)

Now that the weddings are over

Here is a slide show pertaining to an article entitled "Cakes Gone Wrong." It's about a blog and book on cake wrecks. Good thing we didn't make it.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/10/13/dining/20091014-CAKE_index.html

-Thomas

A Place to Talk

I think that many of these posts could generate some good follow-on discussion, but the little comment fields don't really do a good job of facilitating that. Don't worry, though. I had an idea, and now I have a solution! (I am an engineer, after all.)

The Fordweb Forum!

The fordweb forum is a place where anyone can talk about topics brought up on this blog and other family-related topics. I encourage all of our readership to click over there, create a username, and let us know what you think. I have some private forums set up for blog authors and family members, too.

It's no big deal if y'all aren't excited about it. It is more of a project for me to work on than anything, but I do think it could be a useful and fun tool. So tell me what you think. (The easiest way to tell me that is by signing up on the forum and posting.)

Temptation Springs

So now that I have a real job again, the tug of my formerly profligate lifestyle beckons anew. After proudly proclaiming our ability to live on just pennies a month, we'll soon find ourselves possessing dollars again. What of our frugality? Are we still going to shop at Fiesta? Are we still going to eat at home?

Yes. And more often than not, yes.

It's hard for me, as a supposedly cosmopolitan gourmet, to admit it, but I haven't missed eating out as much as I thought I would. Long ago I promised Michelle a meal at Feast (Houston's ode to things otherwise considered inedible) to celebrate when I return to the land of the gainfully employed, and I fully intend to deliver on that promise, as soon as this weekend perhaps. But does this mean that I'll also be haunting Gravitas with my former frequency, and indulging in pricey lunches during my work day?

No. And only if it's on the company dime.

These first six months have taught me many lessons, chief among them that what I need for happiness and contentment in marriage has nothing to do with the contents of our bank account or our dinner plates. A loving, supportive wife is a gift of God, not lightly given. I'm rejoicing in the wife of my youth, and her Proverbs 31-esque management of our tiny household. No truffled delicacy could ever compare.

Happy birthday, littlest brother!

We love you, T! Keep on rockin'!

A Pleasant Sunday Afternoon

Amy and I had a pleasant Sunday afternoon, though it will be really nice in a couple of weeks when it is cool enough to be in the sun. After church and lunch we went to the local outdoors store, Backwoods, and I picked up my free birthday backpack. If you're cool enough to be on their mailing list they send you a card at your birthday for something free. Then, we stopped at our favorite sandwich shop, Great Outdoors, and picked up a DP for Amy. GO has good ice, the little crunchy kind. Then, we went to the lawn outside the Kimbell Art Museum and read. I read some for our ancient church history class and Amy read some a short volume on Ruth by Sinclair Ferguson. Our friends Sko and Megan have some great photos of them exploring their new home city (Toronto); they inspired me to take photographs of our "adventures." Here are some photographs that we took.

My new backpack

My new backpack again (obstructed view)

Amy not sure she if wants her paparazi husband to take her picture

The museum lawn and a bit of the skyline of our fair city

Amy contemplating in front of the fountain.

Dr. Pepper

Me, happily reading Ireneus


Me, seriously reading Ireneus

This was my view for a while

A family portrait

Ms. Quote

Yesterday at Pei Wei I ordered a Billy Chief Noodle Bowl instead of a Chile Beef Noodle Bowl.

Quote of the week

My new idea for this blog is for us to post funny quotes every now and then, and see who wins. Two conversational jewels stand out in my mind from this week:

***

Rob just shaved his beard and we are taking dinner to our community group, talking about his lasagna--
Rob: "I know! I can tell them - 'guess what my secret ingredient is. Beard!"
Mich: "This is why middle schoolers love you."

***

"I really cannot have cupcakes interfering with my personal life." - Michelle

What is church?

I've been involved in two churches over the course of my life. I grew up in RTBC, and I've been at Redeemer since I left home. In the most simple and physical sense RTBC is a mature, culturally diverse, small-town Baptist church a few blocks away from the most prominent medical center in the world. Redeemer is a small whipper-snapper of a church near a large university in a relatively young and growing denomination.

We all know that a church is made up of a lot more than physical characteristics. I guess what I am pondering is, "What is it that characterizes a church?". We can all agree that a church is made up of people who love the Gospel (i.e. God's work in us). So my follow-on question is, "Why are some churches more involved in the work of the Gospel (i.e. God's work in the world) than others?". What does it look like when a part of the Church understands what God has done for them? What does it look like for that local body to be gripped by the reality of Christ's work in a way that causes it to act?

Here's the disclaimer: I am about to brag about something in which I had no part and complain about something I have not tried to fix. This is not an attack or a boast; it is possibly a vent. Mostly, I am just trying to work though past experience and current observations. I'm not going to qualify everything I say in the paragraphs below, so consider this paragraph a blanket qualification to any criticisms I make. There are always exceptions, and nowhere do I imply more that I explicitly write.

Redeemer consistently feeds its members solid and excellent, biblical teaching, but, by-and-large, much of Redeemer is not involved in "church events". But I may be a little biased; my perception may be a little skewed. You see, I grew up in a small-town Baptist church a few blocks away from the most prominent medical center in the world. I grew up in a church where it seemed strange for any families not to participate in Sunday school, Sunday worship, and a few hours of Wednesday night activities almost every week of the year. I grew up in a church where many people participated in Mom's Day Out, Joy Program, Vacation Bible School, and church choir. By the way, these are just the events that came through the "organization" of the church. I could write for quite a while about events that came through the "organism" of the church. (For instance praise and worship at our house, Sunday lunches with college students, hosting missionaries, supporting missionaries, work days at church, and supporting widows.) I grew up in a church where for two weeks after my grandmother died I could daily pick from a dozen or more different meals in our fridge, mostly supplied from RTBCers.

Some of my potential misperception also comes from the fact that I grew up in a family that was at church whenever the doors were open. For some reason I feel like there are not many of those families at Redeemer. In fact, I think families are leery of being there "whenever the doors are open", and I don't know why. I also feel like Redeemer, as a body, is also leery of the "church culture". I think this is understandable and perhaps even necessary in Waco, but the church culture at RTBC has always been a positive thing in my eyes. I think we could use a dose of that culture at Redeemer. I know that RTBC has at least 50 year lead on Redeemer in terms of maturity, and I know that makes a difference.

The best news is that no part of the Church is any more justified than another. Nothing that is done or not done in either church makes a difference in regard to her salvation. We are all just adopted siblings to One whose work on our behalf has saved us. As long as that is proclaimed then we're all in good shape. I love Redeemer, and I love RTBC. I have learned how to talk about the Gospel from the teaching at Redeemer, but long before that I learned how to show them the Gospel from what I learned at RTBC.

We Just Watch Movies, Not TV

We watched several seasons of Arrested Development together but it got too silly even for me towards the end. Thomas used to watch The Office in his single days. Once, three years ago, Diana and I were stuck in Waco for summer school and we watched a lot of America's Next Top Model because studying is even more boring than that show.

There are movies that Thomas initiates and is "excited for you to see" and there are movies that I initiate. Basically, the nice thing about Netflix is that in obliging moments we'll each let the other add whatever he/she wants to our list. And then by the time it comes in the mail there's nothing you can do about it but watch it and send it back.

Fusilli with Tomatoes and Basil

I'm promoting this recipe from my favorite cookbook for two reasons:

1. Thomas liked it and ate it in his lunch all week.

2. I already had all the ingredients in the pantry and didn't have to buy anything for it!

Ingredients:

1 pound fusilli pasta (any corkscrew pasta works)

4-5 ripe medium tomatoes

1.5 teaspoons kosher salt (The kind Alton Brown recommends!)

Freshly ground black pepper

1 large clove garlic

.5 cup olive oil

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

Large handful fresh basil leaves (you can substitute dried basil)

2-4 ounces grated Parmesan cheese (optional...we skipped it)

1. Cook the pasta however the box says to (my abridgment...the cookbook is more specific. Don't forget to salt it so it's not sticky!)

2. Meanwhile, core and dice the tomatoes and put in a large serving bowl. Season with 1.25 teaspoons of the salt and some black pepper. Smash and peel the garlic clove, sprinkle with the remaining .25 teaspoon salt, and, with the flat side of a large knife, mash and smear the mixture to a coarse paste. Add the garlic paste, olive oil, and vinegar to the tomatoes. Rinse the basil leaves and pat dry. Tear into pieces and add to the tomatoes. (You can make the tomato mixture up to 2 hours ahead - but don't refrigerate)

3. When the pasta is ready, drain well and add to the bowl. Season with salt and black pepper to taste and toss to coat evenly. Serve immediately or at room temperature.

4. To make it more filling for my high-metabolism husband I stirred together some olive oil, salt, pepper, white wine vinegar, and dried basil, poured it over a couple chicken breasts, baked them in the oven, cut them up and mixed them in with the pasta.

We're having wonderful rainy, cool weather. Hope things are nice down south!

A unique job challenge

So, this doesn't have anything to do with being married...except that last night I told Amy that Monday prayer with my 7th graders is challenging. I told her that I want to encourage the 7th graders to make prayer something more than just asking God for things, to make prayer a time of praise, confession, thanksgiving, etc. When I tried to suggest that we would just pray praise, they semi-pathetically asked if we would still do prayer requests. So, we did prayer requests, which took most of the time. Why? Because 7th graders, childlike faith and all, want to pray about everything. The hypothetical example I gave Amy last night was that they'll request prayer for themselves or a friend because of a family dog dying. Amy assured me that this is a devastating and tear worthy experience. I agree but am perhaps a little hardened to pray about it. However, I do not want to discourage these 7th graders from bringing every matter of life before God, and I want to encourage them to believe that God is over and concerned with all of life.

Fast forward to today. I decide to take prayer requests. The first request was "My dog Astro...last night cut his ear." This was shortly followed by "My friends the-so-and-so's can't find their cat...and he's a really nice cat." I think that the majority of the class thought that one to be a little bit of a stretch. We still prayed about it though. My solution was to take that request myself and make it a prayer about God's rule over creation and the pangs of it being fallen and constantly exposed to death. That said, is there a line to the prayer requests that you take? If a less cute pet dies should you pray about it? What if it is a rodent? If your pet gerbil dies should you pray about it. What if it was eaten by your pet cat which was merely doing what God created it to do, hunt. Should we pray for the animals that Walt kills?

-Thomas

Duck Commander

Holy smokes. When I saw the picture of the Duck Commanders, I was shocked. How in the world do those guys have a TV show? Having a TV show would seem to require some type of connection to society, which they do not appear to have. Also, having a TV show would require a video camera, the acquisition of which would require one to leave the woods. Those guys do not look like they leave the woods...ever. Also, video cameras are not made by Browning, Smith & Wesson, or Remington (though electric shavers are, which they do not seem to use either), but rather by companies in places like Japan and Korea. I would expect those guys to shoot anything encountered from those countries.

I'd like to see some type of combination of Duck Commander and one of Chandra's shows, sort of a custom bit for the Waco Fords. Not sure which would be better, Duck Commander meets 18 and Counting, or Duck Commander meets Intervention...hmmm.

-Thomas

p.s. - I'm posting this because the Duck Commanders warrant such a post, but also because I'm having trouble leaving comments. It won't let me stay signed in.

The shows where Walt gets his back scratched...

Here are my guilty pleasures:

1) 18 Kids and Counting -The Duggars have 18 kids and watching how their family functions fascinates me!

2) Intervention - This show documents the lives of addicts (alcoholics, drug addicts, people with eating disorders, etc.) as their families and friends set them up for an intervention.

Thanks to Walt - these are both Myth TV'd! :)

As you notice, they all fall right in line with my 'non-fiction' preferences. I LOVE observing real-life people.

Let's Watch Something Else

So Chandra and I each have shows that we really like to watch on TV (usually MythTV, actually, but that's another blog). Absolutely none of the shows in either of our "really like to watch" categories overlap. There are two main kinds of shows that we do watch together, though.

1. The kind that Chandra watches while I take a nap with her scratching my back. ("Hey, can you scratch my back?" as I'm laying down across her lap.)
   
2. The kind that I watch while Chandra works on another project, like cutting coupons out of the Sunday paper.

There are a handful of things we really do watch together, though.

1. Some of my favorite watching-TV-with-Chandra memories come from the 2006 World Cup while we were dating. We still watch some USMNT soccer together when we are able, and we will definitely tune in to see the boys in South Africa, 2010.
   
2. We watch BU football and basketball on TV. Especially when BU was kicking tail in basketball last year.
   
3. The Dog Whisperer. I'm not sure we would have a chance of keeping Lucy under control without the excellent guidance of Ceasar Millan.
   
4. Breed All About It. This is another dog show that highlights a different breed of dog in each program. We're still waiting for the one on Anatolians...

I'll go ahead and talk a little about the shows I enjoy, and most of you will understand immediately why Chandra isn't interested.

1. Good Eats. This is first because Chandra and I have actually watched this together in the past; although, we rarely do any more. It comes off like a low-budget kitchen-science show with a little history and humor thrown in for kicks. This is probably as close as I have to a "guilty pleasure". Alton Brown is impressive; he makes this show.
   
2. Band of Brothers. In the words of a great college friend, seeing this HBO mini-series is a "prerequisite to being a man." More on this in a later post...
   
3. Duck Commander. This picture says it all.
   
4. The First 48. Chandra doesn't even sit through this one with me. Actually, I don't even watch it when she is in the house. It's a reality show that follows homicide detectives from the time they hear about a murder until the case is solved or shelved. (Micah 6:8, Romans 13:1-4)

I'll let Chandra tell y'all more about the shows she enjoys. In typical Eldar-Ford fashion, she's watching one of "her shows" as I type this.

That's Entertainment!

As I anticipated, Michelle and I have a lot more in common when it comes to movies and tv shows than you would expect. Sure, I like low-brow comedy and slapstick horror as much as any mid-to-late twenties American male might be expected to, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to subject my darling wife to The Hangover any time soon. Where did we find common ground?

1. Friday Night Lights. The combination of lantern-jawed football action and family drama works remarkably well. The documentary style reinforces the reality that this is the most accurate depiction of small-town Texas that's ever been on TV. Major bonus points for the realistic, caring way that Coach Taylor and his wife, Tami, interact. No fake drama, just the sorts of stuff that real couples bicker (and make up) over.
2. Arrested Development. Oh the dearly departed Bluths! We've just recently finished watching the whole series, and all of my little throwaway quotes from it are starting to register now. The downside is that Michelle is finally realizing that I'm not actually funny, I'm just plagarizing.
3. Mad Men. This chronicle of the ups and downs of a 1960's ad agency is one of the most cinematic shows on tv, and it looks lush and detailed every week. Because all of the characters are so deeply flawed, you're more often than not rooting for redemption or humility rather than mere success. Always leads to good discussions and should always be accompanied by a fancy drink.
4. 30 Rock. The logical successor to Arrested Development has some of the sharpest comedy writing on tv, supported by a core group of talented actors. Each episode is worth rewatching just for the jokes that you didn't catch the first time through.

We haven't really been to the movies much since we got married (Up and 500 Days of Summer are the only exceptions) but I'm sure that if we go see films that are like the aforementioned series, we'll be fine.

What are everyone elses shared shows? Guilty pleasures are GREATLY encouraged.

Rainy days are better when...

...you're married. This is T and Amy, Amos and Tommy for those of you dialed in down at Durness. It's been raining for two straight days up here in the north. Here are reasons why rainy days are better when you're married.

1. You're married

2. You don't have to worry about the other driving an hour and a half in the rain to see you

3. Being lazy at home is a day of companionship rather than idleness

4. If you're married you might have a flower box in front of your house. If it is raining you don't have to water them

5. You get to watch A River Runs Through It together and it sounds like you're actually in the river

6. Even though Brad Pitt is in A River Runs Through It you don't have to worry because you've got the woman you want and she's covenantally stuck with you

7. Two people thinking that waffles and eggs would be ideal for dinner is better than one person thinking that waffles and eggs would be ideal for dinner

8. Someone else can carry your umbrella for you...and run in Starbucks to get your coffee for you

9. The neighbors' dogs are quieter when it rains (Amy), and they wouldn't be if you were single and it were raining (T)

10. People with red hair call both of you at the same time (Michelle, Jay Bruce)

11. You get to post about it on a newly/semi-newly wed blog

Well, hope all you other couples are enjoying your Sunday...or sundae...mmmm sundae

Book review: "For Women Only" - Shaunti Feldhahn

One of my friends at Redeemer (who is also an older and much wiser married woman of 20+ years) gave me a book for my birthday titled "For Women Only - what you need to know about the inner lives of men" (sorry, I can't remember the html code for underlining or linking with text) http://www.forwomenonlybook.com/BooksStudies/ForWomenOnly/tabid/137/Default.aspx

I had read the book just after we were married (one of my friends at work recommended it and loaned it to me), but as I began re-reading it, I realized just how much I had forgotten and just how applicable the topics in the book are after both 1 month...and 2 years of marriage.

Summary and Chandra's thoughts

The book, written by a Christian author, arose as she began interviewing men for a fiction book that she was writing. She was surprised to hear the same answers and thoughts coming from the men, and she thought women should know what they're thinking. Although she's a Christian, there's not much (if any) content that challenged me to think about theological or life issues through the lens of scripture. A non-believer could have just as easily read the book and gotten the same things out of it as me - it's simply a practical look into how most men think.

I believe the Table of Contents will give the best summary of what the book covers:

1) Lightbulb On! How I woke up to what I didn't know about men

2) Your love is not enough. Why your respect means more to him than even your affection

3) The Performance of Lifetime. Why your Mr. Smooth looks so impressive but feels like an impostor

4) The Loneliest Burden. How his need to provide weighs your man down, and why he likes it that way

5) Sex Changes Everything. Why sex unlocks a man's emotions (guess who holds the key?)

6) Keeper of the Visual Rolodex. Why it's so natural for him to look and so hard to forget what he's seen

7) Chocolate, Flowers, Bait Fishing. Why the reluctant clod you know really does want romance

8) The Truth About the Way You Look. Why what's on the outside matters to him on the inside

9) Words for Your Heart. What your man most wishes you knew about him

Basically, it was a quick, practical read. If you don't anticipate a deep read filled with thought-provoking questions that would arise after each chapter, you won't be let down as much. I, personally, think she did a good job putting into words what I (for the most part) have come to notice about Walt. She has a high regard for men, which I really appreciated to hear, and although it's not an earth-shattering book, the points that she makes are helpful to think about. For instance, after reading the chapter titled "Your Love is Not Enough" I was challenged to think that me telling Walt that I love him 5 times a day means so much less to him than telling him that I respect him (for something or just in general) 1 time a day. It's not anything that I've never heard before, but it's a GREAT reminder that my "love" isn't enough. Walt NEEDS to know that I respect him. I believe I'll read this book annually around our anniversary to have a consistent reminder of some of the good points that she makes. Although some of the survey questions sound skewed and very leading to me, and I had anticipated a deeper book, all in all, I recommend it. I was actually so struck by how helpful this book was that I bought the "For Men Only" book for Walt. :)

Just an idea, but this might be a good book to give to our non-believing friends who are married/will be married. If anything, I'd say the topics in here are very 'others focused' on the husband, and it could encourage good conversations about 'thinking outside of ourselves to the needs of others' and why we would ever even consider doing this.

Michelle and Amy Lane, you're more than welcome to borrow my copy anytime!

Chandra's ratings (out of 5 stars)

Readability *****
Relevance *****
Thought-provoking material ***

This Will Never Work

In trying to settle a minor disagreement this afternoon, Mich and I decided to use the best decision-making tool that every married couple has at their disposal: rock-paper-scissors.

We both chose scissors.

So we went again.

We both chose scissors again.

And again.

And then both paper.

And both rock.

And both paper again.

Six. Times. In. A. Row.
















I have no clue what this signifies about our marriage. It doesn't bode well for our ability to make big decisions quickly, but it should make choosing a restaurant easier.

Also, I unfroze a couple of cookies after lunch today, and it was magnificent.

T'was reel gud feeshing in Missrah, y'all

We had a great time trout fishing with my parents this weekend. Walt would probably say that the weekend wasn't as successful as he would have liked, but my hunter/gatherer still caught the first, the biggest, and the most fish - which we all later enjoyed with salt, pepper, and butter on Sunday evening -YUM! =)

We also played Yuker (Euchre?) a few times, and it was my first time to play. Do any of you have experience with this card game? I have mixed feelings about the game, but I'd be up for trying it again.

I really enjoy trout fishing and hope we'll get to go again soon!

Addendum: Rob's sweet tooth and Chandra's advice

Chandra, I followed your advice and it's working a little TOO well.

This afternoon Rob made a dinner for a sick family at church. Over lunch I came home and threw together a salad to accompany all the meat. :) I expressed my regret for not baking a dessert for the family and suggested that we give them the bag of homemade chocolate chip peanut butter cookies I made on Friday that are being kept in the freezer. The look Rob gave me was equivalent to a somewhat brutal stab through my chest.

The newest Hays family rule? Cookies on the counter or the table are for sharing. Cookies in the freezer are not.

For Walt, For Rob

Here are some pages for each of you...as if from the other. Both from The Art of Manliness
http://artofmanliness.com/

For Walt,

A Man's Guide to Summer Dress

For Rob,

The Best Guns for Home Defense

Enjoy.

And for me, The 20 Manliest Mustaches and Beards From Facial Hair History, I'm considering the Ambrose Burnside look for myself.

-Thomas

Labor Day

Mom and Dad spent the weekend in Fort Worth with the Warmaths (thanks for coming!) and combined work with relaxation. We went to a local dive for dinner (Paco & John's Mexican Diner) and saw "Dolphins" at the Omni. On the work side of things, the boys hung a couple mirrors, installed an outdoor light, and power washed the house. (It looks really yellow now!) Mom and I did some intense shopping, grocery and otherwise.

I got to get out my fancy servingware and dinnerware for a spaghetti dinner at home (first time to use the navy blue chargers from Amelia and Sarah!) and Thomas and Dad surprised us by bringing home flowers for the table. Mom and I played duets on the piano and talked about curtains. We finally bought a DVD player and watched an old Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy after dinner. There were also many Sonic runs and some Starbucks as well...of course.

In other news, I start a part-time job this afternoon and Thomas had his first day of class today.

I found this well-made chart on Monergism this morning (the site came up in a conversation this weekend so I decided to check it out. I think I've heard you talk about it, Chandra, right?) and thought I would share it with the siblings and other readers:

http://www.monergism.com/thethreshold/articles/onsite/respnsibility_inability.html

I don't know how to do the fancy thing where you make the link into a word like Michelle, so you'll just have to click on the hyperlink. :)

Have a good four-day week!

We're so hip.

My photographers blogged about our wedding this weekend (5 months later...???). Anyways, they said it was "one of the hippest weddings" they've every shot. Aunt Iris, I hope you're reading this! :) I've never thought of myself as hip - so funny!

They touched up the photos they put on the blog - really makes me want to order from them because they looks SO MUCH BETTER than the proofs we got... Bummer. Maybe that's their strategy behind the blog.

Also, I'm glad they put up the pics with my weirdest faces....

Yay for weddings! Such a beautiful day in EVERY way.

(Amy, can't wait to see your pics!!!)

Rescued!

Man Rescued from Long Stay on Deserted Island
4:58 pm CST September 3, 2009

On Wednesday evening, a man many had forgotten about, was rescued from a deserted island he had inhabited for two whole days. His wife Amy Lane, assisted by the United States Coast Guard, discovered him wearing sackcloth on the shores of a lonely island. Physical and psychological examination results have not yet been released. The family released the following statement, "Thomas is overjoyed to have been rescued. Life on the lonely island was very difficult...and lonely. He missed his wife very much and is excited to reenter civilization."

Associated Press.

We like to read.

Rob found two great articles this week in The Curator, a web magazine published by the International Arts Movement.

We met the Wilkinsons at Rob and Liz's wedding in St. Thomas. We hit it off immediately and had a very long, very delicious breakfast with them one morning and talked about New York and Texas, Todd's job as a movie location manager and Alissa's journey as a writer, young marriage, art, God, the church, and food. It was a treat to read Alissa's article on kitchens. I'm loving my first "real" kitchen and am excited to grow into bigger ones in the years to come.

This article is by artist Makoto Fujimora. He's an abstract painter that uses themes of the Bible as his inspiration. Rob introduced me to his work when we started dating - maybe one day we'll get to own an original piece. His article here is about "the art of marriage" and the new movie (the Warmaths saw this week), Julie and Julia. It has interesting things to say about the beauty in the "mundane-ness" of healthy marriages.

Just two of the many articles the Hays enjoy each week. Hope y'all will, too.

Thanks for the recipes, girls, and thanks for going home and putting T out of his misery, Ames. :)

Big Houston Shower Pictures

Tortillas

In response to Chandra's suggestion that we add more recipes, I'm going to give the tortilla recipe. Apparently this recipe is very time-sensitive (pay attention to that part of the directions) because they totally flopped at Nikki's shower and Michelle had to run to the store to buy tortillas.

Ingredients:

2 cups All-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp. Baking powder

1 tsp. Salt

2 tsp. Vegetable oil

3/4 cup Warm milk

Mix flour, baking powder, salt, and oil. Slowly add warm milk. Stir until it forms a loose, sticky ball. Knead for 2 minutes on a floured surface until it is firm and soft. Cover with a damp cloth in a bowl for 20 minutes. Roll 8 balls. Don't let them touch. Cover for 10 minutes. Pat into 4" circles on a floured surface and roll out with a rolling pin.

Get a dry iron skillet really hot and do them one at a time for about 30 seconds (or until it puffs.)

For us the trickiest part was figuring out how flat to roll them so they weren't too thin or too thick. They do pretty well for a couple days in a ziplock bag in the fridge if you have leftovers.

I am back to Fort Worth so Thomas will be returning to normal civilization. And big congratulations to him for finishing his Greek III final today, completing all the language requirements for his degree!!!

Day 2, Amy returning tomorrow?

Day 2. Island council voted that cloud and constellation omens suggest that Amy will return tomorrow. Very busy today to prepare for her return. Assigned to tiki torch committee to herald her return. Survived the savages today. Beard longer.

Day 2

Survived Day 1. Dark was the night...and lonely. Day 2. Sun still bright. Almost didn't shave since Amy isn't here. Why do anything if she isn't here. Started island council to manage life without Amy. Almost elected president; lost to palm branch who wouldn't give the conch back when passed it after campaign speeches. Shouldn't have let the birds vote; knew they would favor the branch. Elected secretary instead. Will continue lines on wall, per secretary duties.

Day 1 = lots of lines

Day 1. Hundreds of lines in wall. Probably not good for drywall. Used pile of drywall powder from lines as kindling for fire. Haven't had to use toenail. Speared loaf of cinnamon bread that washed ashore. Spotted constellation that looks like Amy. Other constelations look like jumbles of stars... or Amy; no Van Buren so far. Will sleep alone.

How will day one end?

Day 1, lots of lines, difficult to know the time.  Am going to pursue food for next meal.  Tried to spell "Amy Lane" with smoke signals, but wind turned it into "I'm Lame."  Hope this doesn't divert her return/my rescue.  Finger and toenails getting longer.  Concerned about nightfall.   Not sure if there are savages.  Am I becoming savage?  May sharpen big toe nail to fend off nocturnals (creatures or natives).

Day 1 Continues

Day 1 still.  Lots of lines on the wall.  I managed to gather some lunch.  The birds (CM patio) were approaching for the food...or for me.  Saw a cloud that looked like Amy.  Also saw one that looked like Martin Van Buren.  Not sure if its some kind of omen.  Sun still bright.  Beginning to wonder about next meal.  Beard continues to grow. 

Still Day 1

Day 1.  No sign of Amy.  Sun is bright.  Beginning to become hungry.  Hunger makes doves in photo look tasty.  Beard getting longer. 

Happy opening day of dove season!

I'm so proud of my husband. :)

Curry report

I made the curry yesterday, and it turned out GREAT! I really like this recipe.

I am, though, hoping to make it to an 'ethnic food aisle' sometime on my next trip to Houston. ALL of the HEBs in Waco only have plain "Curry Powder" - there were no other options. =(

I think we should share/distribute recipies more often on here! To help get us started....

here's one of my favorite recipies from last week for quiche.

Pastry
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup shortening
4 to 5 tablespoons cold water

1) Stir together four and salt. Using a pastry blender (I don't have one, so I use a potato masher), cut in shortening until pieces are pea-size.

2) Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of the water of part of the flour mixture; gently toss with fork. Repeat moistening four mixture, using 1 tablespoon o fthe water at a time, until all the four mixture is moistened. Form dough into a ball.

Filling
4 beaten eggs
1 1/2 cups half-and-half, light cream, or milk
1/4 cup sliced green onions (2)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Dash ground nutmeg
3/4 cup chopped cooked ham, chicken, or crabmeat (about 3 1/2 ounces)
1 1/2 cups shredded Swiss, cheddar, Monterey Jack, and/or Havarti cheese (6 ounces)
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

1) Roll out pastry in a 9-inch pie plate. Trim and crimp edge. Line unpricked pastry with a double thickness of foil. Bake in a 450 degree oven for 8 minutes. Remove foil. Bake for 4 to 5 more minutes or until pastry is set and dry. Remove from oven. Reduce oven temp to 325.

2) Meanwhile, stir together eggs, half-and-half, green onions, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Stir in ham. In a small bowl toss together the cheese and four. Add to egg mixture; mix well.

3) Pour egg mixture into hot, baked pastry shell. Bake in 325 oven for 40-45 minutes.

Quiche is a great all-around food. It has plenty of protein to make it filling - it freezes well - it's a great lunch food - and it's CHEAP (especially if you use leftover meat from another meal and plain old milk instead of the creams).

Amy's Still Gone

Day 1.  Amy's still gone.  Have scratched 6 lines in wall.  Not sure how many lines I will have to scratch until she returns.  Making every fifth line diagonal.  Nothing else has happened.

Amy left for Houston

Day 1.  Amy left for Houston for Casey's shower and to hang out with Michelle and Lauren.  Will try to survive.  Will probably scratch lines in the wall to keep time.  Not sure if there is any food on this island.  

Room To Roam

As my $.02 in the Great Kitchen Responsibility Debate, I think that the main issue that we face is one of space. With our tiny, galley-style kitchen, it gets really crowded really quickly, particularly if one of the cooks is all flailing arms and elbows like myself.

Michelle refers to herself as my sous chef, but that's hardly fair. We're more like a baseball pitching rotation, each of us having the night off when the other cooks. While I'm certainly the grillmaster and Michelle is most certainly the pastry chef, there is little rhyme or reason to the distribution of other kitchen labor.

There have been a couple of instances where one of us has been "banished" from the kitchen so that the other can work in peace (usually, if I'm requiring space, it's because I've screwed something up and am trying to fix it).

A single memorable meltdown did occur early on in our married life, but I'll have to check with The Boss before posting it on an open forum.

To be continued (maybe)...

---------

As requested, the Chicken-Mango Curry "recipe" that we brought back from Cayman. The liquid measurements are approximate, since I'm one of those annoying "I just eyeball it" cooks.

3 tbsp butter
1 lb. chicken breast meat
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1/2 tsp. allspice
2 cans coconut milk
2 tbsp. yellow Caribbean curry powder (from the "ethnic" row at the grocery store)
1 ripe mango, cut into chunks
1 cup of mango nectar
1/2 cup of chicken stock
Salt & pepper to taste
Other veggies as desired (add when the onions are added)

Tools:
A big-arse stock pot

Brown the onions and chicken in the butter and allspice. Add 1 tablespoon of the curry powder and coat the chicken. Add the coconut milk, mango nectar, chicken stock and the other tablespoon of curry powder. Bring to a boil and then simmer for as long as humanly possible. The longer it simmers, the better it will be. Add the mango after everything else has simmered for about 10 minutes.

Serve with rice or rice noodles, and garnish with basil or Sriracha hot sauce if you're feeling frisky.

Chef Chandra pleads to be able to keep her post in the kitchen...

As I figured out that Walt was adding to the blog, I wanted to read what he had in the works. As I read, I didn't entirely agree with the way some things were phrased, so we tried (and tried) to collaborate on a way to write what something that we both agreed with...but it, never-the-less, ended up in us both deciding that I should just write a separate response. =)

Clarification #1: Michelle and Amy Lane, by saying that "the kitchen belongs to Rob, Thomas, and me" I meant that (according to the previous posts on the blog and my personal experiences over the past 2 years with R & T) that they (and I) enjoy creating and eating good food. Dear sisters, I KNOW that you guys both do like serving food to your husbands and friends, and that you do like (and are good at) cooking, too! I just said that because I picture Rob and Thomas as particularly enjoying the experience of creating/eating good food, at least prior to being married.

Clarification #2: Walt's right - I don't cook for myself. I feel like cooking anyting for just me to eat is a waste of my time (I'll eat ANYTHING - it doesn't need to be tasty). Earlier this summer, Walt even said, "Dinner is something that you do for me, isn't it?" Yes, it is. If I weren't married, I wouldn't make dinner every day.

Clarifcation #3: I love cooking. I love trying new recipies. I love experimenting. I love creating new tastes. I love planning a 'balanced meal.' I love the experience of having a project that I'm in charge of and seeing it though to the end. I love thinking of how the meals I'm preparing will be a blessing to the recipient(s). Exercise and cooking are my modes of energy-release: not much is more enjoyable to me than to be able to turn on some music or a sermon and spend an entire afternoon cooking a meal that others will later enjoy.

Clarification #4: The reason why I've learned to grill (and do many other things at the house that I used to consider 'Walt's domain') is that he is either too inconvenienced to help me at the time I need it, or I'm too inconvenienced to wait for him to do it. My mantra for as long before we were married as I can remember was, "I can do it", and now with time to be able to think about things more, my mantra is slowly (and unfortunately) manifesting itself in various forms in our marriage. Our particular struggles with sin in this area are evident...

Clarification #5: Have YOU ever tried making custard or game gumbo with Walt? He's a hard man to work with when it comes to "his" foods. =)

Clarification #6: I consider my role to be 'quality control checker' when it comes to the kitchen. If my husband or other people are going to eat it, I want to be in charge enough to make sure it's going to be good.

I'm such a firstborn...

(and just so that it doesn't sound like I'm slandering my husband: Walt had read and agrees with of all of the above) :)

Who Sees This?

How public is this blog? Is this Ford sibling- and parent-only blog or something to pass along to friends and broader family as well? It doesn't matter to me. What say you?

Kitchen Commander

Chandra and I had a discussion today that I feel is relevant to this forum. Our brief chat revolved around roles in the kitchen. See, in the home where I grew up Dad always did/does certain cooking tasks and Mom always did/does certain cooking tasks. Dad cooks almost all the fish, anything grilled, and brisket (as we discussed this evening). On the other hand, Mom sticks to chicken, shrimp, and all the other things that aren't on Dad's list.

So, when Chandra told me she was going to make brisket, I naturally thought about how I would need to trim it, prepare it in foil with liquid smoke, cook it while covered, slather it with BBQ sauce, and cook it while uncovered during the 10 hours before dinner Thursday (when I would be at work). Of course, Chandra had planned on taking care of everything on her own and, in fact, did not even want my input or "bossy-ness" in regard to her brisket plans.

So, the question is how do you (other 2.5 of the three) divide/argue about/collaborate in the kitchen while cooking? Chandra made an interesting comment: "The kitchen is for me, Thomas, and Rob." I know Thob (hard "t" sound) does lots of gourmet cooking, but it sounds from previous posts like Thob's spouses do their share, too.

Here's my answer:
Chandra doesn't cook for herself. She cooks for me, guests that she invites to dinner, people at church who need meals, and for just about anyone else she can think of. This is not to say she doesn't enjoy cooking; on the contrary, the cooking is probably one of her favorite parts of having people over. All that to say that when Chandra cooks, she cooks everything on her own. Sometimes I help, but I make too much of a mess for Chandra and don't handle raw meat by her standards. (Last time I helped I shattered exploded a clear glass bowl on the floor about 45mins before our guests arrived.) As time goes on I think I will end up helping less and less.

On the other end of the spectrum, I cook for myself. I think I have never cooked something that I wasn't excited to eat. This is not to say that I don't enjoy sharing what I make with others. I love to hear that others like what I made, but at the end of the day the cooking was for me. I don't cook very often, but when I do I make a big mess. (Dad Ford's genes, maybe?) Chandra helps some, but I tend to know exactly how I want things done, and after a while my constant supervision (she would call it "bossy-ness") runs her off. As time goes on I think she will end up helping less and less.

So our cooking seems to be getting more and more segregated. She has even started grilling recently...

Chandra's advice and "thanks!"

Thank you all so much for the special birthday! Michelle, thank you so much for putting those fun pictures up; it means a lot that you went through the trouble to do that - thank you, Michelle! You've also inspired me to put pictures up on the posts more often!

Walt did a great job making me feel special yesterday :) He took time off in the afternoon so that we could go to the zoo, and he also bought me a wide variety of rice to be cooked in our (my) new rice cooker! (many thanks to the Fords for this!)

Rob and Michelle: I'm excited to (finally) try my hand at making a curry dish this week with some jasmine rice; would you mind posting the tasty curry recipe that you guys got while on your honeymoon?

Chandra's Advice
Sorry I'm slow to post on this topic, but my advice to these folks has not as much to do with looking to the future as it does to do with looking at the present.

1) Referencing John Piper's "A Challenge to Women"-
"...That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married."

My number one piece of advice is to live your life to the fullest in the situation you've been placed. It makes me sad to think back on times in my life when I looked forward to/anxiously awaited something so much that I felt like I wasted my days waiting. There were people around me who needed help, and I was too selfish with my own desires to even notice (I think of this specifically as I was anxiously awaiting the ending of my job). When you're single, you have a unique opportunity to be flexible with your time and schedule to bless others...TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS TIME FOR THE KINGDOM!

2) In the words of Pete, "If you have a desire to be married, you most likely will be."

3) Also, to summarize the words of Pete to graduating seniors who didn't know where they'd be going/what they'd be doing after graduation. "Don't worry about 'if it's the Lord's will' - do what you want to do, and know that what you do...whatever it is- is in the Lord's plan."

Even though he was talking about a different life situation, it's just as applicable. Go on dates, if you want, and if the relationship ends after 1 date...then that was in the Lord's plan, and if it develops to marriage...then that was in the Lord's plan. Both the relationships we call "bad" and "good" are under the sovereignty of the One who wants to image Himself forth and draw us to Him. Even if it doesn't "work out", belivers in Christ can trust that there was a reason that it happened.

This all sounds pretty hypocritical coming from someone who is prone to worry, but this was one area of my life that the Lord did graciously bless me in not worrying about. (...maybe that's because I knew I wanted to marry Walt when I first saw him in 2004...hahaha. The Lord definitely gave me 'the desires of my heart' concerning my husband =) )

#11 to the previous topic
11) I never, ever thought I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia...and I just read the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I was pleasantly surprised by how Christ-like the imagery was; this book gave me a new found appreciation for fiction.