Kitchen Commander

Chandra and I had a discussion today that I feel is relevant to this forum. Our brief chat revolved around roles in the kitchen. See, in the home where I grew up Dad always did/does certain cooking tasks and Mom always did/does certain cooking tasks. Dad cooks almost all the fish, anything grilled, and brisket (as we discussed this evening). On the other hand, Mom sticks to chicken, shrimp, and all the other things that aren't on Dad's list.

So, when Chandra told me she was going to make brisket, I naturally thought about how I would need to trim it, prepare it in foil with liquid smoke, cook it while covered, slather it with BBQ sauce, and cook it while uncovered during the 10 hours before dinner Thursday (when I would be at work). Of course, Chandra had planned on taking care of everything on her own and, in fact, did not even want my input or "bossy-ness" in regard to her brisket plans.

So, the question is how do you (other 2.5 of the three) divide/argue about/collaborate in the kitchen while cooking? Chandra made an interesting comment: "The kitchen is for me, Thomas, and Rob." I know Thob (hard "t" sound) does lots of gourmet cooking, but it sounds from previous posts like Thob's spouses do their share, too.

Here's my answer:
Chandra doesn't cook for herself. She cooks for me, guests that she invites to dinner, people at church who need meals, and for just about anyone else she can think of. This is not to say she doesn't enjoy cooking; on the contrary, the cooking is probably one of her favorite parts of having people over. All that to say that when Chandra cooks, she cooks everything on her own. Sometimes I help, but I make too much of a mess for Chandra and don't handle raw meat by her standards. (Last time I helped I shattered exploded a clear glass bowl on the floor about 45mins before our guests arrived.) As time goes on I think I will end up helping less and less.

On the other end of the spectrum, I cook for myself. I think I have never cooked something that I wasn't excited to eat. This is not to say that I don't enjoy sharing what I make with others. I love to hear that others like what I made, but at the end of the day the cooking was for me. I don't cook very often, but when I do I make a big mess. (Dad Ford's genes, maybe?) Chandra helps some, but I tend to know exactly how I want things done, and after a while my constant supervision (she would call it "bossy-ness") runs her off. As time goes on I think she will end up helping less and less.

So our cooking seems to be getting more and more segregated. She has even started grilling recently...