Topic #2, Michelle

10 surprises in my marriage with Rob:

• I love being with him all the time. This is extremely surprising since I loved my alone-time and independence pre-marriage. We were a tad nervous about living together because we both knew I needed that alone time, but this isn’t the case anymore. I don’t really understand this change but am thankful.
• He’s really good at apologizing. I knew this before marriage but am still surprised every time we make apologies. He is a heart-level apologizer and insists I say “I forgive you,” not my normal “it’s ok” which isn’t really the same thing. He’s an incredible example to me and patiently walks me through apologies since I’m still not that great at making or receiving them. And when he’s the one forgiving he immediately forgets my wrongs and does not allow either of us to go back and revisit them. Wow.
• He’s happy and funny all the time. Ok, maybe 98% of the time. I knew he was like that when we hung out before marriage but I thought living together would prove otherwise. When people talk about the job situation they say “he seems to be doing well,” as if it’s a chore in public - but he’s really happy all the time. And whether it’s him laughing out loud because of something funny in his own head or him joking around the house to a lame audience of 1 (me), it’s just who he is all the time.
• I love spontaneity and adventure. I never thought of myself as spontaneous or adventuresome, but compared to my very predictable and stable husband, my desire to live in lots of places, take last-minute weekend trips, my craving for spontaneous nights out, my desire for big new projects or new jobs, and my “need” to rearrange things in the house make me look like the crazy-ish one.
• We eat a lot of meat. This is actually a lifestyle change for me that I wasn’t counting on. It’s not a real meal for him if we don’t have some meat product.
• I’m not a morning person. I really thought I was. But I suppose I always had an hour or so alone before encountering people. Now, there’s a person that wakes up beside me talking and laughing and making jokes while my eyes are still closed. And I realize I’m not a morning person.
• He’s possessive in the kitchen (but getting better). We always said how cute and fun it would be to cook together when we got married, but it turns out that neither of us enjoy it very much. Occasionally I am his sous chef, but usually he’s the chef and I’m the baker, or we trade off nights in the kitchen.
• Self-sacrificial love is tangible. During engagement “loving like Christ loved the church” and submitting and obeying seemed abstract; but they are clear and real in marriage. For me, it means learning that “don’t move the furniture without me” really does mean “don’t move the furniture without Rob.” And I see his sacrificial love every time he does something he wouldn’t have done if we weren’t married (cleaning the house, getting out of a comfy bed to adjust the temperature he doesn’t really want adjusted, passing over an extraneous purchase, rinsing toothpaste out of the sink, etc.)
• He cares about decorating. He doesn’t care about every little thing, but I really try to listen and endorse the few ideas and opinions he does have.
• Nothing gets old. I’m still amazed that there’s someone so constantly concerned with my every tiniest need and desire, and he still smiles that 7-year-old grin every time he wakes up beside me. Five months later, everything is still just as special as it was on Day 1.