One of the axioms of Hatton-ology is that the Christian life is made up of seemingly contradictory ideas. I doubt anyone who sat under Pete at Baylor would be surprised that my advice would come as a pair of paradoxical precepts. I would give two pieces of advice to my pre-marriage male friends.
(btw, Chandra's hyper-sensitive EQ, not IQ, mind you, is bothered that we are not "waiting for Thomas" with this blog. I'll continue anyways, though. Neither of myQs mind.)
Lead Well: In any boy-girl relationship the boy is going to set the tone of the relationship and be responsible for the tone of the relationship. Even if the boy does nothing he is still leading the relationship; he is just leading poorly. So my first piece of advice to my male friends would be to set a godly tone, take charge of everything, and be deliberate in every aspect of the relationship.
Pursue Hard: I know, I know, my previous piece of advice indicated that the guy should be out in front of the relationship. Well, it turns out he's in the back as well. I've learned with Chandra that a girl needs to be pursued and to feel pursued. This starts with the guy asking her out on the first date and should never stop.
To adjust this advice for a girl I would just counsel her to make sure the guy does these things. Assume nothing about the relationship; make him be deliberate. Force him to pursue you; don't chase him. No matter what side of the gender divide one finds himself, the most important thing for a Christian is to trust and believe that God has more goodness and blessing in store for him in marriage than can be imagined.
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