Room To Roam

As my $.02 in the Great Kitchen Responsibility Debate, I think that the main issue that we face is one of space. With our tiny, galley-style kitchen, it gets really crowded really quickly, particularly if one of the cooks is all flailing arms and elbows like myself.

Michelle refers to herself as my sous chef, but that's hardly fair. We're more like a baseball pitching rotation, each of us having the night off when the other cooks. While I'm certainly the grillmaster and Michelle is most certainly the pastry chef, there is little rhyme or reason to the distribution of other kitchen labor.

There have been a couple of instances where one of us has been "banished" from the kitchen so that the other can work in peace (usually, if I'm requiring space, it's because I've screwed something up and am trying to fix it).

A single memorable meltdown did occur early on in our married life, but I'll have to check with The Boss before posting it on an open forum.

To be continued (maybe)...

---------

As requested, the Chicken-Mango Curry "recipe" that we brought back from Cayman. The liquid measurements are approximate, since I'm one of those annoying "I just eyeball it" cooks.

3 tbsp butter
1 lb. chicken breast meat
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1/2 tsp. allspice
2 cans coconut milk
2 tbsp. yellow Caribbean curry powder (from the "ethnic" row at the grocery store)
1 ripe mango, cut into chunks
1 cup of mango nectar
1/2 cup of chicken stock
Salt & pepper to taste
Other veggies as desired (add when the onions are added)

Tools:
A big-arse stock pot

Brown the onions and chicken in the butter and allspice. Add 1 tablespoon of the curry powder and coat the chicken. Add the coconut milk, mango nectar, chicken stock and the other tablespoon of curry powder. Bring to a boil and then simmer for as long as humanly possible. The longer it simmers, the better it will be. Add the mango after everything else has simmered for about 10 minutes.

Serve with rice or rice noodles, and garnish with basil or Sriracha hot sauce if you're feeling frisky.

Chef Chandra pleads to be able to keep her post in the kitchen...

As I figured out that Walt was adding to the blog, I wanted to read what he had in the works. As I read, I didn't entirely agree with the way some things were phrased, so we tried (and tried) to collaborate on a way to write what something that we both agreed with...but it, never-the-less, ended up in us both deciding that I should just write a separate response. =)

Clarification #1: Michelle and Amy Lane, by saying that "the kitchen belongs to Rob, Thomas, and me" I meant that (according to the previous posts on the blog and my personal experiences over the past 2 years with R & T) that they (and I) enjoy creating and eating good food. Dear sisters, I KNOW that you guys both do like serving food to your husbands and friends, and that you do like (and are good at) cooking, too! I just said that because I picture Rob and Thomas as particularly enjoying the experience of creating/eating good food, at least prior to being married.

Clarification #2: Walt's right - I don't cook for myself. I feel like cooking anyting for just me to eat is a waste of my time (I'll eat ANYTHING - it doesn't need to be tasty). Earlier this summer, Walt even said, "Dinner is something that you do for me, isn't it?" Yes, it is. If I weren't married, I wouldn't make dinner every day.

Clarifcation #3: I love cooking. I love trying new recipies. I love experimenting. I love creating new tastes. I love planning a 'balanced meal.' I love the experience of having a project that I'm in charge of and seeing it though to the end. I love thinking of how the meals I'm preparing will be a blessing to the recipient(s). Exercise and cooking are my modes of energy-release: not much is more enjoyable to me than to be able to turn on some music or a sermon and spend an entire afternoon cooking a meal that others will later enjoy.

Clarification #4: The reason why I've learned to grill (and do many other things at the house that I used to consider 'Walt's domain') is that he is either too inconvenienced to help me at the time I need it, or I'm too inconvenienced to wait for him to do it. My mantra for as long before we were married as I can remember was, "I can do it", and now with time to be able to think about things more, my mantra is slowly (and unfortunately) manifesting itself in various forms in our marriage. Our particular struggles with sin in this area are evident...

Clarification #5: Have YOU ever tried making custard or game gumbo with Walt? He's a hard man to work with when it comes to "his" foods. =)

Clarification #6: I consider my role to be 'quality control checker' when it comes to the kitchen. If my husband or other people are going to eat it, I want to be in charge enough to make sure it's going to be good.

I'm such a firstborn...

(and just so that it doesn't sound like I'm slandering my husband: Walt had read and agrees with of all of the above) :)

Who Sees This?

How public is this blog? Is this Ford sibling- and parent-only blog or something to pass along to friends and broader family as well? It doesn't matter to me. What say you?

Kitchen Commander

Chandra and I had a discussion today that I feel is relevant to this forum. Our brief chat revolved around roles in the kitchen. See, in the home where I grew up Dad always did/does certain cooking tasks and Mom always did/does certain cooking tasks. Dad cooks almost all the fish, anything grilled, and brisket (as we discussed this evening). On the other hand, Mom sticks to chicken, shrimp, and all the other things that aren't on Dad's list.

So, when Chandra told me she was going to make brisket, I naturally thought about how I would need to trim it, prepare it in foil with liquid smoke, cook it while covered, slather it with BBQ sauce, and cook it while uncovered during the 10 hours before dinner Thursday (when I would be at work). Of course, Chandra had planned on taking care of everything on her own and, in fact, did not even want my input or "bossy-ness" in regard to her brisket plans.

So, the question is how do you (other 2.5 of the three) divide/argue about/collaborate in the kitchen while cooking? Chandra made an interesting comment: "The kitchen is for me, Thomas, and Rob." I know Thob (hard "t" sound) does lots of gourmet cooking, but it sounds from previous posts like Thob's spouses do their share, too.

Here's my answer:
Chandra doesn't cook for herself. She cooks for me, guests that she invites to dinner, people at church who need meals, and for just about anyone else she can think of. This is not to say she doesn't enjoy cooking; on the contrary, the cooking is probably one of her favorite parts of having people over. All that to say that when Chandra cooks, she cooks everything on her own. Sometimes I help, but I make too much of a mess for Chandra and don't handle raw meat by her standards. (Last time I helped I shattered exploded a clear glass bowl on the floor about 45mins before our guests arrived.) As time goes on I think I will end up helping less and less.

On the other end of the spectrum, I cook for myself. I think I have never cooked something that I wasn't excited to eat. This is not to say that I don't enjoy sharing what I make with others. I love to hear that others like what I made, but at the end of the day the cooking was for me. I don't cook very often, but when I do I make a big mess. (Dad Ford's genes, maybe?) Chandra helps some, but I tend to know exactly how I want things done, and after a while my constant supervision (she would call it "bossy-ness") runs her off. As time goes on I think she will end up helping less and less.

So our cooking seems to be getting more and more segregated. She has even started grilling recently...

Chandra's advice and "thanks!"

Thank you all so much for the special birthday! Michelle, thank you so much for putting those fun pictures up; it means a lot that you went through the trouble to do that - thank you, Michelle! You've also inspired me to put pictures up on the posts more often!

Walt did a great job making me feel special yesterday :) He took time off in the afternoon so that we could go to the zoo, and he also bought me a wide variety of rice to be cooked in our (my) new rice cooker! (many thanks to the Fords for this!)

Rob and Michelle: I'm excited to (finally) try my hand at making a curry dish this week with some jasmine rice; would you mind posting the tasty curry recipe that you guys got while on your honeymoon?

Chandra's Advice
Sorry I'm slow to post on this topic, but my advice to these folks has not as much to do with looking to the future as it does to do with looking at the present.

1) Referencing John Piper's "A Challenge to Women"-
"...That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to Christ and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married."

My number one piece of advice is to live your life to the fullest in the situation you've been placed. It makes me sad to think back on times in my life when I looked forward to/anxiously awaited something so much that I felt like I wasted my days waiting. There were people around me who needed help, and I was too selfish with my own desires to even notice (I think of this specifically as I was anxiously awaiting the ending of my job). When you're single, you have a unique opportunity to be flexible with your time and schedule to bless others...TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS TIME FOR THE KINGDOM!

2) In the words of Pete, "If you have a desire to be married, you most likely will be."

3) Also, to summarize the words of Pete to graduating seniors who didn't know where they'd be going/what they'd be doing after graduation. "Don't worry about 'if it's the Lord's will' - do what you want to do, and know that what you do...whatever it is- is in the Lord's plan."

Even though he was talking about a different life situation, it's just as applicable. Go on dates, if you want, and if the relationship ends after 1 date...then that was in the Lord's plan, and if it develops to marriage...then that was in the Lord's plan. Both the relationships we call "bad" and "good" are under the sovereignty of the One who wants to image Himself forth and draw us to Him. Even if it doesn't "work out", belivers in Christ can trust that there was a reason that it happened.

This all sounds pretty hypocritical coming from someone who is prone to worry, but this was one area of my life that the Lord did graciously bless me in not worrying about. (...maybe that's because I knew I wanted to marry Walt when I first saw him in 2004...hahaha. The Lord definitely gave me 'the desires of my heart' concerning my husband =) )

#11 to the previous topic
11) I never, ever thought I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia...and I just read the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I was pleasantly surprised by how Christ-like the imagery was; this book gave me a new found appreciation for fiction.

Happy Birthday, Chandra!!!

We love you and are so glad you're in our family! You add so much to The Six. :)


You wear fabulous scarves.

You have fabulous taste in weddings.












And you allow small animals to be hung on your walls.






Hope you're having a fabulous day and that the other Elder is spoiling you. ;)

Quoth the Moron, "Furthermore"

First off, Thomas: It's a Heath Ledger movie, obviously. When I first saw that movie, I thought, "He's got a long future in the business."

I had another "I wasn't counting on this" moment last night. In addition to the previously mentioned differences in Michelle and my diets pre-marriage, there are some other distinctives that went unmentioned: Michelle's disdain for eggs, my craving for smoked meats, and differing approaches to how to prepare veggies.

But the most important difference arose again last night, in my hour of need. I have an intense craving for sweets, at all hours and for any reason. It's good that I work at Billy Reid, because there's a constant supply of super-saccharine sour balls available just inches away from where I am currently typing this entry. Anyway, I really craved some dessert last night, but given our current approach to grocery shopping and Michelle's lack of a sweet tooth, the cupboard was quite bare.

Oh wailing and knashing of teeth! I think I'm going to have to buy some Chips Ahoy! on the way home...

Thomas' 10 things is on the next page so y'all should take a look at it.

Pair-o'-docks / My Two Cents

One of the axioms of Hatton-ology is that the Christian life is made up of seemingly contradictory ideas. I doubt anyone who sat under Pete at Baylor would be surprised that my advice would come as a pair of paradoxical precepts. I would give two pieces of advice to my pre-marriage male friends.

(btw, Chandra's hyper-sensitive EQ, not IQ, mind you, is bothered that we are not "waiting for Thomas" with this blog. I'll continue anyways, though. Neither of myQs mind.)

Lead Well: In any boy-girl relationship the boy is going to set the tone of the relationship and be responsible for the tone of the relationship. Even if the boy does nothing he is still leading the relationship; he is just leading poorly. So my first piece of advice to my male friends would be to set a godly tone, take charge of everything, and be deliberate in every aspect of the relationship.

Pursue Hard: I know, I know, my previous piece of advice indicated that the guy should be out in front of the relationship. Well, it turns out he's in the back as well. I've learned with Chandra that a girl needs to be pursued and to feel pursued. This starts with the guy asking her out on the first date and should never stop.

To adjust this advice for a girl I would just counsel her to make sure the guy does these things. Assume nothing about the relationship; make him be deliberate. Force him to pursue you; don't chase him. No matter what side of the gender divide one finds himself, the most important thing for a Christian is to trust and believe that God has more goodness and blessing in store for him in marriage than can be imagined.

Before you say I do...

I would like to give a hearty "hear hear" to Michelle's post. If I had to do dating all over again (and I am thankful every day that I don't) I wish I hadn't thought so much while I dated. I talked to far too many people with too many opinions and worried way too much that this wasn't what God had for me or that I wasn't dating "well." (Thomas and I have since decided that "dating well" is an oxymoron. You can date better or worse but it's pretty frustrating however you do it.) It really is about as simple as Michelle made it sound and I wish I would have chilled out and enjoyed it more.

My other piece of advice that I recently phoned-in to Abby: marry a Redeemer Seminary student. Wives can not only audit, but ENROLL and take whatever classes and earn a degree 100% FREE! Now I don't want to find a job!

I am currently accepting applications from Westminster/Redeemer boys to find husbands for all my college roommates so they can enroll here for free and live closer to me.

Topic 3 - advice to unmarried people

My advice to unmarried people?

1. Find someone that knows God, loves the church, and treats you better than anyone else.
2. Date him. If he stops doing one of those things, break up. Otherwise, marry him ASAP. :)

In other news, I will be serving our judicial system for the next FIVE DAYS.

Also, best HGO production crew T-shirt ever:

"Life is short
Opera is long
But post-Ike
Our lights are still on."

Awesome.

I Wish That I Knew Then

I'll take up Amy Lane's mantle and dispense advice to the unmarried from the boundless wealth of my five months of wisdom. The following will be significantly colored by the advice that I heard when I was unmarried (and not dating), so if you never received similar advice, please feel free to go play with your enormous dog or the neighbor's kids.

The one thing I always heard over and over while I was single was "find your contentment in Christ first, and then you'll be ready for marriage." Now, lest you think that I'm going off the orthodox rails, I certainly hold contentment to be a life-long spiritual goal, but the thing that always bugged me (and that I've been able to pinpoint more now that I'm married) is the implied quid pro quo of that statement. The additional implication is that desiring to be married is somehow unimportant compared to doing "church stuff" (which was usually suggested as the cleanest path to contentment).

The fact of the matter is that you're never really ready for marriage, in an all-encompassing sense. My contentedness in life and contentedness in Christ really had nothing to do with how ready I was for marrying Michelle, because nothing could've prepared me for that. However, the opposite of the "if-then" has occurred: I'm considerably more content (with my relationship with Christ and in general) than I was before marriage.

Why? Because, to borrow a phrase, it wasn't good that I was alone. Now that I'm not alone, now that I enjoy the constant presence and encouragement that comes with being Michelle's husband. Being married is capital-G Good, Good like things were in the Garden Good, Good like any source of sanctification should be. And I think it would be disingenuous to imply that the desire for that unique Goodness is something less than good sets up an almost Gnostic dynamic, separating our day-to-day existence from the ongoing process of sanctification in a dangerous way.

Finally, the parallel between marriage and Christ's relationship to the Church drive the final stake through this idea. If Christ had waited for the Church to be fully ready and content before sacrificing His life...well, we'd still be waiting.

To wrap this up in practical terms, I think the best advice I'd give to anyone, guy or girl, who's trying to get perspective on marriage from the other side of the fence is to be honest about your desire for marriage. Think about what you want from marriage, and from a spouse, and be open and honest with your friends about your desire to be married. It's been really refreshing to hang out with a particular single friend of ours from church who makes no secret of the fact that she wants to get married sooner rather than later; while it might be easy to write her off as "desperate" or some other disparaging label, I'm proud of her for not playing games about what's she's seeking. Because she's seeking a Good thing.

Tidbits

Chandra, your post is like a devotional for me. Yay for grace.

Amy, you are the only one in this whole world that is surprised that you like cuddling.

Walt, Rob does edit with some code. He's tricky and fancy like that.

T, if this blog was in Hebrew would you write something on it?

Rob, if I made another spelling error, just keep me in the dark this time. :)

Topic #2, Michelle

10 surprises in my marriage with Rob:

• I love being with him all the time. This is extremely surprising since I loved my alone-time and independence pre-marriage. We were a tad nervous about living together because we both knew I needed that alone time, but this isn’t the case anymore. I don’t really understand this change but am thankful.
• He’s really good at apologizing. I knew this before marriage but am still surprised every time we make apologies. He is a heart-level apologizer and insists I say “I forgive you,” not my normal “it’s ok” which isn’t really the same thing. He’s an incredible example to me and patiently walks me through apologies since I’m still not that great at making or receiving them. And when he’s the one forgiving he immediately forgets my wrongs and does not allow either of us to go back and revisit them. Wow.
• He’s happy and funny all the time. Ok, maybe 98% of the time. I knew he was like that when we hung out before marriage but I thought living together would prove otherwise. When people talk about the job situation they say “he seems to be doing well,” as if it’s a chore in public - but he’s really happy all the time. And whether it’s him laughing out loud because of something funny in his own head or him joking around the house to a lame audience of 1 (me), it’s just who he is all the time.
• I love spontaneity and adventure. I never thought of myself as spontaneous or adventuresome, but compared to my very predictable and stable husband, my desire to live in lots of places, take last-minute weekend trips, my craving for spontaneous nights out, my desire for big new projects or new jobs, and my “need” to rearrange things in the house make me look like the crazy-ish one.
• We eat a lot of meat. This is actually a lifestyle change for me that I wasn’t counting on. It’s not a real meal for him if we don’t have some meat product.
• I’m not a morning person. I really thought I was. But I suppose I always had an hour or so alone before encountering people. Now, there’s a person that wakes up beside me talking and laughing and making jokes while my eyes are still closed. And I realize I’m not a morning person.
• He’s possessive in the kitchen (but getting better). We always said how cute and fun it would be to cook together when we got married, but it turns out that neither of us enjoy it very much. Occasionally I am his sous chef, but usually he’s the chef and I’m the baker, or we trade off nights in the kitchen.
• Self-sacrificial love is tangible. During engagement “loving like Christ loved the church” and submitting and obeying seemed abstract; but they are clear and real in marriage. For me, it means learning that “don’t move the furniture without me” really does mean “don’t move the furniture without Rob.” And I see his sacrificial love every time he does something he wouldn’t have done if we weren’t married (cleaning the house, getting out of a comfy bed to adjust the temperature he doesn’t really want adjusted, passing over an extraneous purchase, rinsing toothpaste out of the sink, etc.)
• He cares about decorating. He doesn’t care about every little thing, but I really try to listen and endorse the few ideas and opinions he does have.
• Nothing gets old. I’m still amazed that there’s someone so constantly concerned with my every tiniest need and desire, and he still smiles that 7-year-old grin every time he wakes up beside me. Five months later, everything is still just as special as it was on Day 1.
  
  

After Thomas answers the 10 surprises question, I have the next subject to address:

Last week two of my single friends (one dating seriously, one not dating) asked me what my "married woman" advice/words to them would be in their current situations.  What would your "married woman" or "married man" advice have been?

 - AL

p.s.  It makes me truly happy to hear that Walt's sweet wife and his rather large dog get along so well!

Walt's Second Words

See my first words that were inserted before AL's post. It takes me a long time to think of not much to write on things like this (unless they are about computers), so I saved a draft and edited it when I thought of things. The post date was when I started, not when I finished.

I Thought of 2 More

7. When Mom planted those flowers I didn't think I could keep them alive.

8.  Never thought I would choose listen to NPR on my own.

I can't believe Rob titled a post after a Julia Stiles movie...my list

1. I had high expectations for the happiness of marriage, and I couldn't have foreseen how much those expectations would be exceeded.

2. Some old habits are hard to break - When a person sleeps holding a stuffed lion in a headlock every night for 16+ years she will continue, on occasion, to put any other being she sleeps with in a headlock until he notifies her of his situation.

3. Gen. 2:25

4.
A - "I think I was on your pillow some last night"

T - "Some?"

A - (giggles)

T - "If by some you mean all, then yes"

5. It is easier to get up early in the mornings because I find great satisfaction in getting up before Amy and then going in to wake her up later.

6. Because Amy was nervous about cooking, I wasn't sure about what the "kitchen life" of our home would be like. She has really taken command of the kitchen and produced some really great meals. It has been more wonderful than I would have expected.

7. Before we were married it always seemed like my compliments to Amy's wardrobe were as follows,

"I really like that shirt on you"
"Thanks, it's Michelle's (or fill in the name of a roommate)"

I assumed that our being married would be the end of her clothes "borrowing," but that is not the case. All of my old soft t-shirts are apparently now hers.

In conclusion, being married to Amy Lane is wonderful.

AL Surprises

I don't feel like Thomas and I have been married long enough to warrant 10 surprises, but here are a few from the first 3 weeks of marriage:

1.  I thought it would take months to get used to everything, but being married to Thomas already feels like normal life...and a wonderful life it is!  The house feels like home, and I'm starting to feel like I belong in this city and at FW Pres.  I'm not used to the name change, though.  A teenager at FWPCA came up to me and said, "Are you Mrs. Warmath?" and I almost said "nope."

2.  I didn't expect to miss him as much as I do when he's at seminary.  I start watching the clock around 3:00 even though I know he won't be home until 5 or 6.  This is very motivating in my job hunt (as is the awesome lunch box Michelle bought me.)

3.  Various women in my life led me to believe that serving a husband around the house was like doing favors for a black hole of gratitude.  To the contrary, Thomas is wonderful about noticing what cleaning, laundry, etc. I have done.  The other day he got home, went to go change, and came bounding out of the bedroom saying "The vacuum stripes look awesome in there!"

4.  I make a lot of small trips to Central Market.  As the future wife of T.W. I should have anticipated this.

5.  I'm emotionally attached to the kitchen/cooking.  I hated cooking in college so this is a very big surprise.  When stuff turns out better than expected I get really excited about it.  On the flip side, if it is worse than expected it makes me really sad.  I also get a big sense of satisfaction when I turn out the light at night to a very clean kitchen.  Having lots of nice, new stuff that just belongs to us (not lots of other roommates) also makes it fun.  I have about 6 aprons and like to alternate them throughout the week.

6.  I enjoy sleeping next to someone even more than I thought I would.  I knew I was a big cuddler, but I'm beginning to wonder how I ever fell asleep before I was married.

That's all I've got.  Maybe Thomas will come up with some. 

Walt's First Words

Well my first word was "dog", but that's another topic. For my first words on this blog I'll stay with the two incumbent topics.

TOPIC #1:

1. My fall back for breakfast is a can of Dr Pepper. (This was more frequent before Chandra stopped working and quite frequent before I was married.)
2. My fall back for dinner is a can of Dr Pepper. (This, also, was once more frequent that it is now.)
3. Wendy's, too.

TOPIC #2:
I'm not sure I can come up with 10 things that have surprised me since I've been married, but here's what comes to mind...

1. I am consistently surprised by how nice (and infrequent) a weekend with nothing planned is.
2. I am surprised by how well Chandra controls Lucy, how much Chandra takes care of Lucy, and how much fun Chandra has with the pet we referred to as "my dog" at first.
3. Like Rob, I am surprised by the amount of covers we have on our bed.  Despite feeling warmer than me consistently while we were dating, Chandra always enjoys huddling beneath our medium down comforter no matter what the season.
4. I am surprised at how rarely I see the bottom of my underwear drawer. Fact: I have not seen the bottom of any clothing drawer since Chandra stopped working.
5. I am surprised by how important it is to Chandra that I ask her deep, thoughtful questions; I am surprised by how easily she thinks of those questions; I am surprised by how stressful and difficult it is for me to think of those questions.
6. I am surprised by how little I really knew Chandra when we got married and by how very, very little I knew her when we got engaged.
7. I was surprised by how important it is to consistently pursue Chandra's heart even after having won it. Standing still in this regard is definitely moving backwards.

Also, I'm impressed with Rob's formatting. Does he edit the html?

10 things that I didn't know...

Hello, siblings!

To answer Michelle's post, my cheap (backup? easy? standard? worked late? never fail? :) ) meals consist of:

-breakfast for dinner

-anything grilled (I try to always keep a bag of frozen chicken breasts and some frozen fish
fillets in the freezer; they're easy and you can change the flavors easily with different
marinades/toppings)

-sausage, cheese & crackers (it's amazing how much Walt and I love good cheese...we could easily
eat this once a week if I'd be willing to pay for that much cheese :) ) Although we've never
worked veggies into this, we (I) typically do add fruit and call it a meal :)

-spaghetti (it's so easy that it makes me feel lazy and like a college student, but HEB has
occassional combo loco deals that give you the sauce for free if you buy the pasta, and I just add
ground beef/sausage/veggies) The pricetag is my motivation on this one.


To answer Rob's post, 10 things that I didn't know when we got married are...

1) How much I worry about the 'big things', and how little Walt worries about these things. I think Walt is blessed with the gift of faith; when I think the world is crashing down, he ALWAYS calmly reminds me of God's goodness and sovereignty...and he believes it, too.

2) How much Walt is bothered by 'little things', and in turn, how much this bothers me since I typically don't care about the little things. (For instance, I'll eat/sleep/do/insert nearly any verb you want nearly anywhere/anything/everything, but Walt will only eat (that's not true, he will eat others) pickles that you buy from the refrigerated section of the grocery store :) )

3) That, in pre-martial counseling, when we both said that we were adaptable and flexible, we both were speaking honestly. We ARE both adaptable, just in entirely different ways, as evidenced by #s 1 and 2.

4) That Walt is much tidier than I had been anticipating - what a blessing. More often than not, my side of the closet was cluttered, and his side of the closet was spotless. (This is no longer the case now that I'm gainfully employed solely under the Ford household)

5) How much my 'cup is tipped' concerning Walt's pickiness with food. I'd say 80% of our disagreements stem out of me getting upset that he won't eat/doesn't like some type of food that I gave to him. Obviously, I have idols and sin in this area that I never knew existed prior to serving someone else through marriage.

6) That I am much meaner to Walt than I ever hope(d) or want(ed) to be, but he is much more gracious to me than I ever deserve(d). I hate that I hurt someone who I love so much, but I praise God that He images Himself forth to us through our repeated sin/forgiveness/redemption incidences.

7) That we would have so many computers in our house.

8) That we would have so much fun together. I have A LOT of fun being married to Walt. :)

9) How much Walt enjoys work. My husband honestly likes going to work each morning, and this was certainly an unexpected and pleasant surprise for me.

10) How much it means to Walt for me to just sit by him on the couch and relax. He loves and needs this time, and although it's hard for my extrovert/high-achieving brain to understand, I like doing this for him.

10 Things I (Don't) Hate About You

Marriage (for the short time that I’ve enjoyed it) has been anything but what I expected. Sure, a lot of the basics were predictable: waking up next to someone, seeing each other after work, not having to drop Michelle off after an evening together, etc.; but there were so many things I wasn’t counting on. A few of the highlights are listed below, but before we get to them, the challenge goes out to my five collaborators: what did you encounter that you weren’t expecting?

In no particular order:

1. Our home is more decorated than any place I’ve lived in the past four years. The amazing thing about this is that even though our home is made up of an amalgam of random pieces of furniture, art, and other items sourced from a bunch of very different places, it all works together. And Michelle’s responsible for that.
2. I have WAY more clothes than her. I mean, a lot. I knew that this was the case going in, but I had no idea how big the disparity was. I think the second purge is happening soon.
3. She gets cold. It’s summer in Houston, so it’s approximately the temperature of the core of the sun most days, but we still sleep pretty bundled up every night. The best I can do is put one leg outside of the covers, which actually works remarkably well.
4. The shoe count is pretty even. In spite of #2, we have about the same number of shoes. Yet that’s what always gets brought up as the lynchpin of my metro-ness. Go figure.
5. We’re getting a piano. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but apparently this is going to happen.
6. I’m a control freak in the kitchen. Didn’t realize this until now, because all of my previous roommates, without exception have been eaters rather than cookers. Now that I have a lovely wife who likes being in the kitchen, I get all possessive. I need to get over this.
7. There are red hairs everywhere. I mean, seriously.
8. I put my foot in my mouth so often, and I just coast on my merry way. I now have an immediate check and/or balance on my abuse of power. (Note: I need a new #7)
7. Coffee is emotional currency. I can show love to my wife simply by combining hot water and beans. How cool is that?
9. She still won’t drive my car unless she has to. I don’t particularly care, and I like driving her car, too, but I think I could count the number of times that she’s sat in the driver’s seat of the Mini on one hand.
10. All pet peeves and pettiness aside, I never counted on how much our love would expand and grow now that we’re together all the time. I fall more and more in love with Michelle with each passing day, and while it sounds like a stupid cliché, it’s absolutely and unquestionably true.

Okay, now I’m all misty. Someone else better pick up this gimmick and run with it while I go find some Kleenex.

63 dollars and one amazing menu

Well, it's time to get things started. The six newlyweds have much in common, but let's start with the most mundane of all - food. Also the "enthusiast"part of some of us. :)

In looking at our budget last month, Rob and I noticed how much we spent on little grocery runs to get 2 missing ingredients for a meal (which always turns into buying 5 additional things you don't need). So this time, before we made our list we looked at what we needed to use up in our pantry and planned meals more in advance. We also made sure we were choosing recipes that overlapped in the ingredients we had to buy.

At least Chandra is interested in our menu, so this is for you, dearest.

KEY: what we made (what we had in the pantry that we were trying to get rid of)

• lasagne (lasagne noodles)
• thai noodle stirfry dish (rice noodles) - this dish is so easy and yummy! I'll have to post...
• pasta salad with chicken (canned chicken, noodles) - great for lunch
• black bean soup - this lasts FOREVER and is super yummy as leftovers with rice, chips, toast...
• chicken alfredo (noodles) - ok so we have a lot of noodles in our pantry :)
• shrimp and grits (grits)
• waffles and chicken (all baking ingredients + new amazing waffle iron!)
• steamed green beans with potatoes and onions, and cornbread (cornmeal; and My Helpful Hint - always buy the produce that's on sale as opposed to deciding beforehand)

And for snacks, I'm baking banana bread (a bag of 10 bananas on sale for $1.50!), jalepeno cheddar scones (just like I got in B-town, I hope!), yogurt with cereal and fruit (also a good dessert)

So the most wonderful part of this is that this menu (plus the occassional spaghetti night and quesadilla lunch) will last us at LEAST three weeks, 3 meals a day! And by using what we had and shopping at Fiesta we bought everything we needed for $63!! We were so proud of ourselves for planning and being smart shoppers, we are proudly displaying our receipt on our fridge. We bought a few of the meats and nicer things at the new HEB/Central Market for $35, but still that's like $100 on food for 3 weeks.

Hays win!

Curious about your standard meals. I hear the Warmaths are making homemade tortillas. And there's no telling what the Big Sister is cooking for meals now that she's got a few more hours in her day. :)

And here's one picture from St. Thomas, just for fun... :)